Saturday, January 13, 2007

Healing Breast Cancer Naturally Update

Back from my one month healing retreat. I took a few weeks at home in MA and a few weeks in Boulder. I had moments of rest and healing , but mostly enjoyed the holidays and snow with family and community. It felt good to shift out of the detox mode for a while, feel my healed body and see what it is capable of. My digestion has REALLY improved after 10 months of strict dieting. I chose to dabble in some “off diet” foods with very little problems. I have been continuing treatments that promote detox and they allow me to feel into what my body desires, so it has also not been difficult to go back to a clean diet. I don’t have that big post holidays sugar addiction to deal with. Yay!

Some folks have expressed that they have questions about my condition, but don’t want to ask and possibly upset me. Let me try and provide a brief update. I recently sent out a wonderful article from the Chopra Center that sums up beautifully the “cancer walk”. See http://www.chopra.com/chopra/general/default.aspx?oid=126872

Overall, the healing process has been highly transformational experience. It has become clear to me that my lifestyle needs to dramatically shift to continue to heal the cancer and prevent a reoccurrence. I have had many physical and spiritual indications that the cancer is clearing, if not totally clear. However, when I miseat, I have experienced inflamed lymph in my chest and can feel the lump. When inflamed, the limp is larger than a quarter, flat and thick. Restaurant meat (hormones), sugar and alcohol have been big aggravators. I did have a few scares while trying some holiday foods and restaurant food in CO. Rest, yoga, hot tubbing, clay and essential oil applications brought my breast quickly into balance again…no palpable lump or swollen lymph.

I am finding that I really need to put my health ahead of everything else. I am watching my patterns to want to keep up with folks who have more energy and to partake in physically active past times like dancing and skiing. Some days are easier than others to shift my level of exercise and productivity to something more gentle and that fits my rhythm. I have had some amazing Earth plane angels/teachers show me how to enjoy life without being physically active. I am grateful to them (Sara, the other goddess in flannel PJs at the sensuality night, Jemma and others who have caught my eye as I observe how others live in their bodies with acceptance).

I am finding that exercise is also critical to my healing. My body gets oxygenated and that oxygen gives me energy and I feel healthier. If I do not exercise, I feel easily fatigued and have low energy. I also find that if I exercise too much, I cause a set back (extreme fatigue and illness). I had a bit of this in CO, trying to keep up with my athlete companions.

So I am continuing on to find a new balance in my life. I am getting closer to getting some reliable help around the house when Rene is working in CO. I found a wonderful women who is part of the meditation community and seems like an easeful fit. We'll see if that is meant to come together for me. I am noticing that there is a plan to all this...a divine order that I do not have much control over. We are all getting our lessons. Big lessons around "family" and support.

I start work on Sunday. I tried some yoga while on retreat and feel strong, but also a bit out of shape. Need to build my flexibility and strength up…or not. I am enjoying a new way of sharing the yoga. My meditation practice continues to deepen and is bringing amazing gifts of light, clarity and oneness to my life.

While in Boulder, I realized my need for connection, as Boulder is a high energy social place. Folks meet up every night of the week and go on adventures every weekend. At times I found this a bit exhausting, but in general I was fed by all the connecting. I am concerned that life is so quiet in MA right now. I hope to reach out to new communities to create more of a social network. I am also desiring to find a mellow crowd that is more into connecting as community with spiritual unity and play.

I was deeply touched by my yoga community in Boulder and miss that here in MA. My yoga community will be praying for my healing. I was given the medicine Buddha mantra by my guru, Baba Ji. He says that if I visualize the medicine buddha in my third eye, heart and nadis (meridians), I will experience deep personal healing.

I have shifted profoundly as a result of this dis-ease. I have learned much about myself and how I need to love myself more than ever. I have learned a great deal about family and community. It has been interesting to be in a position of only being able to receive and not give back for an indefinite period of time. However, over the years, I feel I have earned this privilege and can receive with grace and gratitude.

I feel I am in the groove with the Universe. The timing of things has been impeccable. I feel I can totally release into the support of my guides and know I will be held fully. I feel very tuned into what is best for me and am being patient with myself and others, as we all adjust to my new lifestyle.

I am grateful to all who have helped out. Thanks for reading and caring about me and my family.

For those who need details about my healing path, I will outline some specifics below…

I would l ike to preface by saying that there are so many healing options and I went with what my trusted practitioners recommended, my own research and what felt best for my body, mind and spirit.

My main healing path includes a detox/alkalarian diet, some natural supplements that kill cancer cells (I-C-3 and IP-6), acupuncture, shiatsu, clay applications to breast to remove toxins and essential oil breast massages (lavender and frankincense).

I applied poke root oil and a tumor clearing herbal salve for two weeks. The burning sensation and toxic rash became too much to tolerate, so I stopped. I am encouraged to reapply as need when lump flares up.

For stress redux, I have received a lot of reiki/energy work. I also meditate daily for about a half hour. I hope to increase this to an evening sit as well. I also do yoga as needed and walk or exercise almost daily. Oxygenating the body is important when one has cancer b/c cancer likes to live in an anaerobic environment. I also took a Chi Gong course, which was very balancing, but don’t really have a daily routine. I need to take more classes. I have also received a few biofeedback sessions and foot reflexology, which both promoted relaxation.

I am also taking a pile of supplements for digestion, pain (muscle, joints, migraines), stress, antioxidants and immune system boosters.

I am seriously considering Iscador, mistletoe injections, to ensure the cancer does not reoccur. I would need to give myself three injections per week for about a year. The research shows that Iscador keeps major tumors from growing and extends life more effectively than chemo or radiation. It has been used in Germany and Switzerland for many years and is covered by insurance there. I still need to consult with my MD as to which of the many options is the best course of extreme treatment. (Where to put my healing dollars).

I received two vitamin C IVs and they made me feel bad…acidic, kidney pain and tired, so I chose to stop that for now.

I also take pH drops and Super Greens daily.

I am also receiving regular spiritual counseling and energetic healing to manage all the emotional transformation and lifestyle changes taking place. For me, this has been the most important part of the healing journey...to look at what is not working in my life and to move into my Truth.

A JourneyDance weekend was very transformative, as well as the Womb and Belly Conference. It was so sweet spend the day healing with a group of women and to receive snake medicine. The ancient art of snake healing is very powerful. The snake helped to be able to ask and receive, which has been critical to my healing.

As for follow up and monitoring…that is a tough one. I have been reading some nasty stats on mammograms. Susan Weed’s Breast Health book states that one mammogram can double a 35 year old women’s chances of getting breast cancer. I have already had about 20 - 30 on my left breast. I may get an MRI soon, if I can get the Drs. to give me one and for insurance to cover it. They are not considered protocol and I am not following western med protocol anyway, so the insurance game gets a bit tricky. I will also be taking an estrogen test soon to see how my estrogen levels are doing. I am proestrogenic, which causes aggressive cancer growth. Hence, the need to stay away from meat (hormones).

Most of all, I am listening to my body. I know when it is healthy…not acidic and stressed. I can feel my breast and lymph glands respond to stress and inflammation due to acidic/inflammatory food, pollution and stress. If I feel healthy and strong, I would be surprised if I was dying, right? Kinda makes sense… My digestion has been doing REALLY well, so that is a good sign. Also, fatigue and pain levels are good indicators. I currently need daily household/driving support to keep that all in check. I am tuned in and asking for what I need, so no worries. If you are concerneded and want to contribute to my healing, say a prayer, visit, offer some support, send a card or CD.

I need connection and support to stay on this natural healing path and to be successful. I would like to fully experience that I can completely heal with personal introspection, transformation, gifts from the Earth, prayer and love. I would like to know that family and community are not just a concept in this country, but something that can heal. While living in CR, a few of my CR friends asked me with surprise on different occasions, “Prana, don’t you know that love can heal?” I looked at them dumb founded and said, "I don’t believe I have experienced that in my life or in the lives of my family and community." During this journey, I have felt deeply the love and support of others and see the power that this connection has on one’s healing. It is truly profound.

Since I have been doing the “cancer walk” for about 3 months now, many people in my life are showing signs, and family members have actually right out expressed to me, that they want life back to normal. Many have denied there is even a problem or that I have need for help. I am doing my best to understand that this can be a difficult/ackward journey for many. Very few people recognize the gifts that come when one helps another. I am doing my best to forgive and understand all that. Several have encouraged the surgery/radiation route b/c they are concerned about my choices and others want me to get this over with and not need so much support. I will try and explain below why I will not go that route…

1. I have a weak system and am very sensitive to chemicals. When I have an exposure or experience shock or trauma in my body, my body crashes. I am unable to function and need long term deep healing and care. Back to square one. All the money, time and healing gone to waste. My body was extremely weakened by the biopsy procedure and pain killers. This was a clear sign that another surgery and radiation treatment would only weaken my body further vs. “cure” me.

2. The biopsy procedure activated past life trauma of being tortured as a witch. It felt in no way nurturing or healing. The trauma and discomfort were challenging to bare. My breast was squeezed in a metal vice grip for about an hour, receiving continuous mammograms, while being probed with a core boring surgical needle. Following the surgery, I was brought into the mammogram room and several more mammograms were taken after my breast was freshly cut. The radiologist and nurses were very kind, but that’s about the only good thing I can say about the whole procedure. It felt "primitive" (lacking in holistic philosophy), disconnected and toxic and that was “just” the biopsy.

3. In my opinion, surgery and radiation (the protocol for my condition) are a quick fix. We get cancer b/c the body is out of balance. If we get the body back into balance, the cancer can not live in a healthy environment. A tumor is a ball of toxic material that the body has isolated to be eliminated. Elimination can take place with natural treatments…the tumor can be dissolved or come right out of the skin. I experienced this with my first lump (using diet, warm castor oil massages and essential oils) that I had this past spring and the lump that grew after the biopsy (using detox diet, poke root oil and tumor clearing salve). It does not need to be cut out in a hospital room under sedation. If we do not address the core body/health imbalance issues, cancer WILL reoccur. There is no doubt in my mind. Healing the whole body takes time. It took years of chemical exposures and body abuse to cause the cancer and it will take time, resources and support to get my body back into balance. I am committed to this path.

4. The natural path feels so much more in line with who I am and what my body desires. It has been so fun to use natural remedies from the local area. There is a deep spiritual and primal connection with the Earth and one’s body that takes place when one consciously uses the Earth to heal. I have no fear that I will not survive this. If for some reason, my destiny is different and life does not allow me to heal due to lack of resources and support, then I surrender to this outcome. I see the bigger picture and all it’s lessons. I trust that if I do my best I can on my end and live my Truth, then I will be content with any outcome. I understand that this is a difficult concept for our culture to grasp at this time in our evolution and that this outward resistance may hinder my healing process. I am not sure one can heal naturally without consistent community and family support. However, I do know of two living examples right here in the Valley. That is encouraging.

We’ll see how it goes…

I am open to what is.

Hum Sah (I am that)

Much love and gratitude.

Prana