Living Beyond Illusion
Being in ones 40s has it’s perks, I suppose. This sense of crystal clear clarity comes streaming through around life choices. Having lived in this body for so many years and a practitioner of yoga for 10, my body now sends very clear messages about what serves Self and what does not. I have learned to tune into the messages. It is actually quite simple. When I am making a choice that is not in line with my Truth, my body contracts. Usually in my center…my solar plexus. A chakra just below your breast bone. This chakra, energy center, is where our identity lies in our body…at the center of our being. It is also known as the personality center. Sometimes, the contraction is very subtle.
At this age, we have also had many years of practice in over riding these inner voices and easily move onto what we perceive as the “right choice“. The right choice is often dictated by primal needs such as what is practical or what, instead, serves our fears. A contraction in the root chakra, may be a sign that one is responding from a survival or fear place rather than choosing what is best for the Highest Good. When we choose to respond from a place of Highest Good, giving over our trust in the divine, then we will be guided down our personal path with ease. It is said that if one follows one’s bliss and makes choices from this highest place, we will experience more joy and ease in our life.
In my own life, I have been dancing with choices around family. My teens are living full lives and it is an opportunity for me to move into a more creative place in my life. There is a big door opening in front of me and I am finding the courage to step through it…into the great unknown. Life after raising a family. In my case, it has been 15 ½ years. This is a long time to live your life for two. Again, the shift is subtle. As my son still needs my presence and gentle guidance, I have the opportunity to slowly make the shift into a new phase of life.
My body is changing with age and a long bout of chronic illness. A profession that involves physical performance is requiring change as well. I am finding new ways to share the yoga and pace myself. The work feels like it has matured to a new level and I am being rewarded by a steady flow of students and private clients. I think we all appreciate and can relate to our teachers when they are being human.
My primary relationship is also shifting during this time. What was once needed in this relationship, is not needed as much anymore. There is more opportunity for my partner and I to drop into what serves us most outside of being coparents.
I am finding that the solitude that has been provided to me (which I resisted kicking and screaming because I am such a tribal/social person), has actually served me well in hearing what my body, mind and spirit need.
I check in with my body before taking the optional steps of the day…What to eat for breakfast? What to wear? Which way to drive to work? How do I spend my evening? My free time? I am taking a great deal of quiet time to hear what my body mind and spirit desire. I am noticing that I do not want the same things anymore. My body is craving a diet with more vegetables and less carbs. I’m noticing a subtle change in how I want to appear to the world. Comfort seems to be important, as well as style. I am choosing to be out in the world in a new way…shining and abundant with humility and light. I am not feeling the same need to dance when I go out on the town. Instead I might choose to sit and watch a performance, enjoy an art showing or a gentle walk in the Smith College garden.
I am also carefully choosing with whom I share my precious time. I am not choosing to be drained by conversation that comes from a place of victimization, anger, negativity or inconsideration of others feelings (e.g., gossip). We all go there sometimes. I am choosing not to be around that kind of energy all the time. The friendships I do choose to maintain, and which I am eternally grateful for, are with those who observe their own personal role in their life challenges. They make sincere efforts to do what they can to create a positive shift in their life. If they can’t do it on their own, they seek support in the form of a spiritual counselor, therapist, cocounseling or from the honest reflection with a close friend or family member who is available for this kind of support.
Before I know it, my life is looking quite different. I am attracting what I need and desire in my life and what is not serving my Self is dropping away with ease and grace. The key is to not panic or react when you notice that you are wanting your life to be different. Make the changes slowly. Try on the new changes and see how they feel. If it doesn’t work out, you can wait and see what new ideas rise. During this time of change, it can feel like there is a lot of space in your life. Enjoy this spaciousness. Try not to be afraid of it. It is the door opening. It is the opportunity for quiet and reflection. In that time of quiet and reflection notice what sensations rise in the body…a desire to exercise? Ask yourself, “What type of exercise would feel best today?” A hunger craving? Ask yourself, “What food would serve my body most at this time of day?” Notice what pops in your head. Notice the addictions that rise. A craving for sugar. A desire to sleep even though you already slept more than enough. Check in with your inner wisdom as to what is best. Drop into your solar plexus and ask it what it needs to be your brightest and best today?
Enjoy the unfolding of the new you. Unmask the illusion and see what is beyond it. Who are you today? What are you? What do you desire? What makes you laugh and smile in this stage of life, after something old has been released and something new has space to come in.
For support in living beyond illusion visit http://www.pranaheals.com and set up your first private phone or in person session today. Give yourself this gift for the holidays. What a great way to start the New Year!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
Setting Intention for Community
I am just returning from a week long yoga and healing retreat at Harbin Hot Springs Heart Consciousness Church, where I have been studying Anahatha and Standing Wave Yoga for almost 10 years. It is one of the places that I call “Home”. At Harbin, there is a strong and deep seeded intention set for the community life that you experience there. The learning of the group intention begins as soon as you come through the entrance. Lovely people greet you. Registration takes twice the time you would find at any other “resort“. The Harbin experience has already begun. Slowing down, being present, listening, loving… Guests are treated with presence and respect and are given some basic safety rules to agree to upon arrival. All guests are required to pay a monthly or annual membership, so some “ownership” is established from the start. There are tasteful, fun signs where necessary. Mostly, there is a slowing down among everyone. All greet with a loving smile and/or some conversation. The intention to create nomadic community begins to reveal itself quickly, as “strangers” treat you like an old dear friend.
All spaces have loose dress codes and volume levels. There are also many spaces that are designated “silent” or “quiet”. Many whisper wherever they go to respect those who are doing a spiritual or healing retreat.
Although Harbin is a place that encourages going inward and finding and connecting with your Source, there can also be a bit of a “fashion show”. No judgments. It’s fun. It’s a process. I dress up sometimes and don’t dress at all other times. Ishvara, the founder and President of Harbin has written a beautiful article on nudity in the quarterly newsletter. Based on my own experience, freeing myself from the layers that separate me from the elements has allowed me to feel the closest to nature and One with the Mother. Making this connection is of epic importance in this day and age, as society and technology move us further and further away from the planet that sustains our existence. Ishvara also addresses the benefits that nudity has on body image and how it helps us to all feel equal and in acceptance of others, despite our physical flaws.
I do have to mention the fashion though. It is significant. Having been to a few “tribal gatherings” this summer, I have caught a glimpse of the practical, yet sexy attire that has surfaced. Many are wearing a kind of futuristic tribal/community living, close to the Earth wear. Women are sporting boots for hiking around, short skirts, lots of bracelets, carrying baskets or wearing a wide western style leather belt with pockets. Long robes, blanket wraps, shirtless men with flowing or Capri pants are also seen among the crowd. Simple, functional and indicating that living close to the Earth is in fashion. Yay! It was good to see that a women at Dreamtime, was actually hand sewing her own sheik “calf cuffs” (corduroy bell bottom gators) made from an old pair of pants. Double Yay!
The newly erected Temple at Harbin is also in keeping with this style…or intention. A beautiful crafted extra big yurt-like circular mud structure with ceiling beams that spiral up to a point. Very earthy with a slow energy rise.
My favorite place to connect at Harbin is in the Community Kitchen. Many bring food and prep yummy clean meals to inspire all. There is plenty of space to prep and cook, yet one still comes together with someone, or several, at counters, the sink or at the dining tables. Soon your own tribe forms, meals are shared and the sharing continues on the decks, in classes and around the grounds.
In yogic terms, this success in communal and nomadic living, in my eyes, comes down to holding an intention and valuing that intention enough to maintain it as best you can.
When I come in contact with the infectious love that is spread at Harbin through smiles, hugs and evolved conversation, I want to sustain it. I do my inner work to open, to clear my resistances and to take care in my ability to be present and speak with loving, thoughtful language.
I also greatly appreciated dropping technology while at Harbin. Cell phones are not permitted and I resisted the internet café, except to coordinate connecting with my husband who was joining me later in the week. I held off as long as I could and only sent short messages. I felt energetically unplugged. My body was able to return to its natural rhythm, release all tensions and do the healing I came to do.
Maintaining intentions that we believe in and that bring us joy are the easiest to hold and bring into action in our daily lives. Some aspects of the community life I have been describing may not suit you now or ever. Being accepting and compassionate for oneself and others and honoring each individual’s personal journey is one way we can do our best to maintain an intention that serves all.
What are some of your core values that you would like your community to hold as an intention?
In yoga, we call these “yamas” or “willful restraints”. They are: non violence or gentleness, truthfulness, absence of stealing, control over sexual behavior and absence of possessiveness (Ishvara, Oneness in Living, 2002). The yamas are one framework of intention that can be maintained in a yoga community. It is thought by many spiritual practitioners and teachers that if such an intention is held, we will experience less conflict and suffering and instead experience more bliss in our lives. Our path becomes clearer when we eliminate such obstacles from our lives. When we move away from the intention of the yamas, we can experience more conflict, tension, negativity and isolation in our lives. We do not attract a healthy community, but repel those looking for more integrity, trust and ease in relationships. For example, if a coworker, friend or family member lies to, or steals from you, do these actions bring you closer or cause more separation and mistrust?
What are the intentions you would like to hold and model in your community? Try some out for a day or more. See what comes back when you practice honest, loving, thoughtful communication and gestures.
I want to take some space here to touch on the yama, absence of possessiveness. From my vantage point, I believe this is a significant yama or intention for creating community. One that many of us do not address directly. We talk a lot about “letting it go” or “releasing attachment“, but what does that really mean and how do we do it? It’s not easy , is it? But with practice, just like anything, it can become a way of life.
As an experiment, try giving away something that you have that you value or has some significance to you (e.g., money, food, an heirloom, a special altar item, a favorite piece of artwork). How does it feel to share in this way, free of attachment? Can you release it fully to another who will experience joy from your gesture. It may be such a profound gesture that it changes the receiver’s life forever. Or, it may not be well received at all. Many people do not know how to receive with grace, especially something so lovely. It may throw them off a bit and they may not know how to react at first. Can you release any expectations? How does it feel? It can be very freeing. Try it. One gesture at a time.
How many of you give spare change to the homeless you pass on the street, but question whether the money will be used for a drink? Can you give the money freely, letting the receiver make his/her best decision in the moment as to how to spend the money? Releasing control. Accepting that this person may choose a cup of coffee, a cheap bottle of wine or a little food, depending on his/her free will in the moment and leave it at that.
You can take this yama a step further and give someone in your life a bit more freedom from your control. Possibly a teen who is rebelling or a partner or employee that needs more space to grow on their own personal life path, that is different from yours. Can you release these people who you love or need to allow them to experience their bliss? Notice what happens when you do. In my experience, it has brought me closer to these people and everyone is happier in the long run. Grieving may be necessary, but on the other side of grief is love.
You can also play with the concept of envy, another form of possessiveness. The desire to possess what another possesses (e.g., good looks, fame, material items, etc.). Rather than envy those who are blessed with these gifts, try sending them appreciation and acceptance? Instead of choosing envy, nurture within yourself what they have that you desire. See how it feels to release those envious feeling and put that same amount of energy into Self. (Cope, Yoga Journal Oct. ‘06)
Please feel free to use this blog to discuss with others some simple intentions that you would like to see held in your community. Let’s use this blog to create change that we can access where ever we happen to be in the moment.
A big one for me is the intention of being present with one another. Taking time and making time to clearly and lovingly connect every day, in every way, with everyone with whom we come in contact. We are all teachers for each other. I am practicing presence in my daily life and reaping the benefits of my nomadic, moment to moment, ever changing, ever growing community here in western MA and where ever I travel.
What is it that you would like to experience within yourself in your community?
I welcome the dialogue.
Namaste. Jai Ma!
Prana
http://www.pranaheals.com
I am just returning from a week long yoga and healing retreat at Harbin Hot Springs Heart Consciousness Church, where I have been studying Anahatha and Standing Wave Yoga for almost 10 years. It is one of the places that I call “Home”. At Harbin, there is a strong and deep seeded intention set for the community life that you experience there. The learning of the group intention begins as soon as you come through the entrance. Lovely people greet you. Registration takes twice the time you would find at any other “resort“. The Harbin experience has already begun. Slowing down, being present, listening, loving… Guests are treated with presence and respect and are given some basic safety rules to agree to upon arrival. All guests are required to pay a monthly or annual membership, so some “ownership” is established from the start. There are tasteful, fun signs where necessary. Mostly, there is a slowing down among everyone. All greet with a loving smile and/or some conversation. The intention to create nomadic community begins to reveal itself quickly, as “strangers” treat you like an old dear friend.
All spaces have loose dress codes and volume levels. There are also many spaces that are designated “silent” or “quiet”. Many whisper wherever they go to respect those who are doing a spiritual or healing retreat.
Although Harbin is a place that encourages going inward and finding and connecting with your Source, there can also be a bit of a “fashion show”. No judgments. It’s fun. It’s a process. I dress up sometimes and don’t dress at all other times. Ishvara, the founder and President of Harbin has written a beautiful article on nudity in the quarterly newsletter. Based on my own experience, freeing myself from the layers that separate me from the elements has allowed me to feel the closest to nature and One with the Mother. Making this connection is of epic importance in this day and age, as society and technology move us further and further away from the planet that sustains our existence. Ishvara also addresses the benefits that nudity has on body image and how it helps us to all feel equal and in acceptance of others, despite our physical flaws.
I do have to mention the fashion though. It is significant. Having been to a few “tribal gatherings” this summer, I have caught a glimpse of the practical, yet sexy attire that has surfaced. Many are wearing a kind of futuristic tribal/community living, close to the Earth wear. Women are sporting boots for hiking around, short skirts, lots of bracelets, carrying baskets or wearing a wide western style leather belt with pockets. Long robes, blanket wraps, shirtless men with flowing or Capri pants are also seen among the crowd. Simple, functional and indicating that living close to the Earth is in fashion. Yay! It was good to see that a women at Dreamtime, was actually hand sewing her own sheik “calf cuffs” (corduroy bell bottom gators) made from an old pair of pants. Double Yay!
The newly erected Temple at Harbin is also in keeping with this style…or intention. A beautiful crafted extra big yurt-like circular mud structure with ceiling beams that spiral up to a point. Very earthy with a slow energy rise.
My favorite place to connect at Harbin is in the Community Kitchen. Many bring food and prep yummy clean meals to inspire all. There is plenty of space to prep and cook, yet one still comes together with someone, or several, at counters, the sink or at the dining tables. Soon your own tribe forms, meals are shared and the sharing continues on the decks, in classes and around the grounds.
In yogic terms, this success in communal and nomadic living, in my eyes, comes down to holding an intention and valuing that intention enough to maintain it as best you can.
When I come in contact with the infectious love that is spread at Harbin through smiles, hugs and evolved conversation, I want to sustain it. I do my inner work to open, to clear my resistances and to take care in my ability to be present and speak with loving, thoughtful language.
I also greatly appreciated dropping technology while at Harbin. Cell phones are not permitted and I resisted the internet café, except to coordinate connecting with my husband who was joining me later in the week. I held off as long as I could and only sent short messages. I felt energetically unplugged. My body was able to return to its natural rhythm, release all tensions and do the healing I came to do.
Maintaining intentions that we believe in and that bring us joy are the easiest to hold and bring into action in our daily lives. Some aspects of the community life I have been describing may not suit you now or ever. Being accepting and compassionate for oneself and others and honoring each individual’s personal journey is one way we can do our best to maintain an intention that serves all.
What are some of your core values that you would like your community to hold as an intention?
In yoga, we call these “yamas” or “willful restraints”. They are: non violence or gentleness, truthfulness, absence of stealing, control over sexual behavior and absence of possessiveness (Ishvara, Oneness in Living, 2002). The yamas are one framework of intention that can be maintained in a yoga community. It is thought by many spiritual practitioners and teachers that if such an intention is held, we will experience less conflict and suffering and instead experience more bliss in our lives. Our path becomes clearer when we eliminate such obstacles from our lives. When we move away from the intention of the yamas, we can experience more conflict, tension, negativity and isolation in our lives. We do not attract a healthy community, but repel those looking for more integrity, trust and ease in relationships. For example, if a coworker, friend or family member lies to, or steals from you, do these actions bring you closer or cause more separation and mistrust?
What are the intentions you would like to hold and model in your community? Try some out for a day or more. See what comes back when you practice honest, loving, thoughtful communication and gestures.
I want to take some space here to touch on the yama, absence of possessiveness. From my vantage point, I believe this is a significant yama or intention for creating community. One that many of us do not address directly. We talk a lot about “letting it go” or “releasing attachment“, but what does that really mean and how do we do it? It’s not easy , is it? But with practice, just like anything, it can become a way of life.
As an experiment, try giving away something that you have that you value or has some significance to you (e.g., money, food, an heirloom, a special altar item, a favorite piece of artwork). How does it feel to share in this way, free of attachment? Can you release it fully to another who will experience joy from your gesture. It may be such a profound gesture that it changes the receiver’s life forever. Or, it may not be well received at all. Many people do not know how to receive with grace, especially something so lovely. It may throw them off a bit and they may not know how to react at first. Can you release any expectations? How does it feel? It can be very freeing. Try it. One gesture at a time.
How many of you give spare change to the homeless you pass on the street, but question whether the money will be used for a drink? Can you give the money freely, letting the receiver make his/her best decision in the moment as to how to spend the money? Releasing control. Accepting that this person may choose a cup of coffee, a cheap bottle of wine or a little food, depending on his/her free will in the moment and leave it at that.
You can take this yama a step further and give someone in your life a bit more freedom from your control. Possibly a teen who is rebelling or a partner or employee that needs more space to grow on their own personal life path, that is different from yours. Can you release these people who you love or need to allow them to experience their bliss? Notice what happens when you do. In my experience, it has brought me closer to these people and everyone is happier in the long run. Grieving may be necessary, but on the other side of grief is love.
You can also play with the concept of envy, another form of possessiveness. The desire to possess what another possesses (e.g., good looks, fame, material items, etc.). Rather than envy those who are blessed with these gifts, try sending them appreciation and acceptance? Instead of choosing envy, nurture within yourself what they have that you desire. See how it feels to release those envious feeling and put that same amount of energy into Self. (Cope, Yoga Journal Oct. ‘06)
Please feel free to use this blog to discuss with others some simple intentions that you would like to see held in your community. Let’s use this blog to create change that we can access where ever we happen to be in the moment.
A big one for me is the intention of being present with one another. Taking time and making time to clearly and lovingly connect every day, in every way, with everyone with whom we come in contact. We are all teachers for each other. I am practicing presence in my daily life and reaping the benefits of my nomadic, moment to moment, ever changing, ever growing community here in western MA and where ever I travel.
What is it that you would like to experience within yourself in your community?
I welcome the dialogue.
Namaste. Jai Ma!
Prana
http://www.pranaheals.com
Friday, July 21, 2006
Living the Dream
I am just returning from a 3 week vacation. This year, much of which was spent on the road…4 days in Truro Cape Cod, a visit with the in laws, a week in Boulder, CO, a few days mountain biking and back country camping in Crested Butte, CO and 4 days at the Dreamtime Festival in Paonia, CO. After living in downtown Boulder for a year and a half, this summer, I had a particular craving to be immersed in nature. We created a vacation filled with these kind of experiences. Camping was our main lodging.
Since I have camped on vacations for most of my life, the experience has become cushier and cushier as the years go by. None the less, there are the usual challenges of making sure there is enough ice in the cooler, that I do not donate too much blood to the local mosquito population and that the bedding stays relatively clean of sand and pine needles.
Now that I am home, my sauna-like “3rd world” apt. feels luxurious…with a private ONLY HOT water shower, a counter top to prep food and a sink. It has been an interesting transition back in that way. An opportunity for gratitude for what I have, even though it may not have been at all what I planned for myself in this stage of life.
Our family has been significantly effected by the shift in economy since 911. My primary partner, Rene was transferred to Denver in 2002, which resulted in moving away from our teenage children. Rene was grateful to have a job in the corporate world, as over half the company was laid off over the past several years. He was transferred with no pay raise to a city with a cost of living that is 20% higher than western MA. The transition and maintaining a consistent long distance relationship with our 4 teenagers, who remained in MA with their other parents, has been draining. After 3 years, my son was needing my presence back in MA, so now we manage two inadequate apts. in both locations. Over the past 3 ½ years we went from owning two homes to this simple and somewhat challenging existence. The entire time, living within a wealthy community, I intuited that we were one of many who were asked to learn to live with less in a culture that continues to promote having more.
As some of you are already aware, I am working on a book, which for now, is called The Tribe. I have accumulated most of my material for this book while living in Costa Rica, where interdependence is a vibrant fiber binding their cultural fabric. I continue to experience, in the US culture, our desire to separate and “do our own thing”. Drive our own individual cars to our own individual homes where our lives revolve around our relationship or immediate family. Being a relatively single women while in MA, with only a visiting husband and teens, I feel this individuation strongly.
It was such a breath of fresh air and surprise to experience the community at the Dreamtime festival in Paonia, CO. The national Rainbow had just taken place in Steamboat Springs, CO, so much of this temporary community was already primed to live together. Conditions were extreme with temps between 90 and 100 and dust was kicking up everywhere you stepped in this desert-like old burn site. The festival coordinators set the stage for community by not allowing vending. There was little money exchanged, so trading and sharing were encouraged. I expected everyone to take care of their own as I have experienced much of my adult life, but instead there was a out pouring of sharing.
Water was a major commodity. A generous women named Brook set up a tea house tent called the Blue Moon, where one could get a cup of chai or iced tea when ever needed. “Rangers” walked around with a jug and cups asking if anyone needed water. Rene and I broke open our grapefruit and offered slices to passer byers. Whenever I had trash in my hands, someone took it for me. The more these gestures occurred, the more sharing continued. A big bowl of water melon was available in the Rent Tent, just as I was getting a little over heated and dizzy. Potluck meals and free meals were offered by total strangers. One of my friends described being at his camp and hearing a man shouting…”Free Spaghetti Dinner…All You Can Eat!” and his dinner needs were taken care of that night.
Another beautiful thing that came out of this event was the hush of cars. Cars came in on Thursday or Friday and then the cars stopped for days. Because we were all being taken care of and provided for, there was no need to drive anywhere. A few cars may have left for an ice or water run now and again, but it was unnoticeable. If it had occurred, a plume of dust would have been kicked up into others camps and would have been noticed. It rarely occurred because we were sharing and taking care of each other.
I left Dreamtime full, very full…of food, water, love, music and transformed from powerful workshops. The entire festival was a cocreation of trade and donation of expertise. The music and workshops were high quality. What a wealth of talent is out there for the sharing.
I returned to our modest studio apt. in Boulder happy to have a private shower and more able to deal with the lack of kitchen; appreciating our open air kitchen which includes a grill and portable sink and counter. It was a relief to be in a clean bed, free of dust. Aaaah, the simple pleasures in life.
When I returned to MA, I found myself needing less time indoors and more time outdoors….more available for connecting with my rural community. I was happy to see that a few women in town created a Farmer’s Market on our local common on Wed. nights. Last night, we had an outdoor dinner on our second story sun porch. Several neighbors stopped by to say “hi”. In both of the yoga classes I taught this week, students brought produce in to share with me and the other students. I feel fed on many levels.
The Dream continues because we want it, we crave it and all it takes is a gesture. What do you have in abundance that you can share to start the flow? Let’s keep it flowing so we need less, share more and always have friends around to share and assist us as we live this life on Earth. How much can we experience right in our own backyard without getting in the car, spending money to be entertained or fed? Experience the satisfaction and fulfillment that community can bring to our lives.
When we live more interdependently, clear, loving and conscious communication becomes more important. With the separation that has occurred over the past 20 - 30 years and the rise in e mail and voicemail use, our communication skills have suffered. In western MA, there is a beautiful movement on the rise initiated by an amazing crone Sandra Boston of the Conscious Communication Institute. Many are taking the simple and affordable trainings to learn these basic skills. Visit www.ccitraining.org for more information. I am also available to assist those who would like support in this area. Visit my website at www.pranaheals.com
For more information on the Dreamtime festival visit www.dreamthefuture.org The coordinators are an inspiration and their future work needs our ongoing support.
Live the Dream!
Namaste. Jai Ma!
I am just returning from a 3 week vacation. This year, much of which was spent on the road…4 days in Truro Cape Cod, a visit with the in laws, a week in Boulder, CO, a few days mountain biking and back country camping in Crested Butte, CO and 4 days at the Dreamtime Festival in Paonia, CO. After living in downtown Boulder for a year and a half, this summer, I had a particular craving to be immersed in nature. We created a vacation filled with these kind of experiences. Camping was our main lodging.
Since I have camped on vacations for most of my life, the experience has become cushier and cushier as the years go by. None the less, there are the usual challenges of making sure there is enough ice in the cooler, that I do not donate too much blood to the local mosquito population and that the bedding stays relatively clean of sand and pine needles.
Now that I am home, my sauna-like “3rd world” apt. feels luxurious…with a private ONLY HOT water shower, a counter top to prep food and a sink. It has been an interesting transition back in that way. An opportunity for gratitude for what I have, even though it may not have been at all what I planned for myself in this stage of life.
Our family has been significantly effected by the shift in economy since 911. My primary partner, Rene was transferred to Denver in 2002, which resulted in moving away from our teenage children. Rene was grateful to have a job in the corporate world, as over half the company was laid off over the past several years. He was transferred with no pay raise to a city with a cost of living that is 20% higher than western MA. The transition and maintaining a consistent long distance relationship with our 4 teenagers, who remained in MA with their other parents, has been draining. After 3 years, my son was needing my presence back in MA, so now we manage two inadequate apts. in both locations. Over the past 3 ½ years we went from owning two homes to this simple and somewhat challenging existence. The entire time, living within a wealthy community, I intuited that we were one of many who were asked to learn to live with less in a culture that continues to promote having more.
As some of you are already aware, I am working on a book, which for now, is called The Tribe. I have accumulated most of my material for this book while living in Costa Rica, where interdependence is a vibrant fiber binding their cultural fabric. I continue to experience, in the US culture, our desire to separate and “do our own thing”. Drive our own individual cars to our own individual homes where our lives revolve around our relationship or immediate family. Being a relatively single women while in MA, with only a visiting husband and teens, I feel this individuation strongly.
It was such a breath of fresh air and surprise to experience the community at the Dreamtime festival in Paonia, CO. The national Rainbow had just taken place in Steamboat Springs, CO, so much of this temporary community was already primed to live together. Conditions were extreme with temps between 90 and 100 and dust was kicking up everywhere you stepped in this desert-like old burn site. The festival coordinators set the stage for community by not allowing vending. There was little money exchanged, so trading and sharing were encouraged. I expected everyone to take care of their own as I have experienced much of my adult life, but instead there was a out pouring of sharing.
Water was a major commodity. A generous women named Brook set up a tea house tent called the Blue Moon, where one could get a cup of chai or iced tea when ever needed. “Rangers” walked around with a jug and cups asking if anyone needed water. Rene and I broke open our grapefruit and offered slices to passer byers. Whenever I had trash in my hands, someone took it for me. The more these gestures occurred, the more sharing continued. A big bowl of water melon was available in the Rent Tent, just as I was getting a little over heated and dizzy. Potluck meals and free meals were offered by total strangers. One of my friends described being at his camp and hearing a man shouting…”Free Spaghetti Dinner…All You Can Eat!” and his dinner needs were taken care of that night.
Another beautiful thing that came out of this event was the hush of cars. Cars came in on Thursday or Friday and then the cars stopped for days. Because we were all being taken care of and provided for, there was no need to drive anywhere. A few cars may have left for an ice or water run now and again, but it was unnoticeable. If it had occurred, a plume of dust would have been kicked up into others camps and would have been noticed. It rarely occurred because we were sharing and taking care of each other.
I left Dreamtime full, very full…of food, water, love, music and transformed from powerful workshops. The entire festival was a cocreation of trade and donation of expertise. The music and workshops were high quality. What a wealth of talent is out there for the sharing.
I returned to our modest studio apt. in Boulder happy to have a private shower and more able to deal with the lack of kitchen; appreciating our open air kitchen which includes a grill and portable sink and counter. It was a relief to be in a clean bed, free of dust. Aaaah, the simple pleasures in life.
When I returned to MA, I found myself needing less time indoors and more time outdoors….more available for connecting with my rural community. I was happy to see that a few women in town created a Farmer’s Market on our local common on Wed. nights. Last night, we had an outdoor dinner on our second story sun porch. Several neighbors stopped by to say “hi”. In both of the yoga classes I taught this week, students brought produce in to share with me and the other students. I feel fed on many levels.
The Dream continues because we want it, we crave it and all it takes is a gesture. What do you have in abundance that you can share to start the flow? Let’s keep it flowing so we need less, share more and always have friends around to share and assist us as we live this life on Earth. How much can we experience right in our own backyard without getting in the car, spending money to be entertained or fed? Experience the satisfaction and fulfillment that community can bring to our lives.
When we live more interdependently, clear, loving and conscious communication becomes more important. With the separation that has occurred over the past 20 - 30 years and the rise in e mail and voicemail use, our communication skills have suffered. In western MA, there is a beautiful movement on the rise initiated by an amazing crone Sandra Boston of the Conscious Communication Institute. Many are taking the simple and affordable trainings to learn these basic skills. Visit www.ccitraining.org for more information. I am also available to assist those who would like support in this area. Visit my website at www.pranaheals.com
For more information on the Dreamtime festival visit www.dreamthefuture.org The coordinators are an inspiration and their future work needs our ongoing support.
Live the Dream!
Namaste. Jai Ma!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Humbled by Breast Dis-ease
In early November of 2005, my primary care physician in Boulder, CO discovered abnormalities in my left breast and recommended a mammogram. The mammogram revealed a mass of calcified cysts and a biopsy was recommended by the Radiologist. I was quickly and compassionately rushed into the western medicine protocol. Everything was moving way too fast. I know several women who have survived breast disease using strictly natural methods. I asked my Environmental Illness Specialist to slow down and that I wanted to treat my condition in this manner. I was supported and also encouraged to get a diagnosis from a Breast Disease Specialist. This appointment was 6 weeks away. I had plenty of time to take natural steps toward healing. Curiously, I had already done research a year ago for a friend in Costa Rica who had discovered breast lumps, so this information was already at my disposal. I am grateful that I did not have to do this research all over again.
The Healing Process
It was interesting to watch my psychological process. Initially, I believe I went into a state of denial around potential outcome of the discovery of the breast lump and quickly moved into acceptance and grace that it may just be my time. My yoga path has taught me deep surrender and acceptance. I am not afraid to die and had been feeling a great deal of completion in my life. I proceeded with self care in an almost automatic and removed way. This state is difficult to describe. I was just numb and at peace.
My dear friend, a clinical herbalist, got me started on a wild crafted herbal formula of Red Clover, Cleavers and Chaparral to break up the lump. She always says, “let the plants guide you." Having been close to many cancer survivors in my lifetime, I knew I also needed to clean up my diet and remove all stress. My acupuncturist began to treat my liver with acupuncture and Chinese herbs. According to Chinese medicine, a 5000 year old medical practice, breast disease is caused by liver dysfunction. If not treated, liver dysfunction will lead to breast cancer. One of my yoga colleagues who is studying Ayurvedic medicine (also a 2000+ year old medical tradition), recommended hot castor oil breast massages and emotional clearing. (Over the past month, I have switched to frankincense and lavender oil breast massage 4 days on and 4 days off.) Her teacher, Alandi, has written a comprehensive article on the emotional and environmental factors contributing to breast disease. To read this article, visit www.alandiashram.org
It was this practice that brought me into a state of deep awareness of this disease and what it meant to me. Alandi says that the breast is all about nurturing and mothering. The way she described how the disease manifests emotionally was right on for me. In summary, those who do not experience nurturing from their mother, can spend their entire life seeking that love. In my case, this led to over work to get approval from teachers, coaches, employers, my partners, my community and my children. I recognized, in that moment, how much energy I have expended on this and it is no wonder my liver is not functioning in a healthy manner.
Each time I do the breast massage, I tell myself all the loving things that I did not hear from my mother. “You are beautiful…you are talented…you can do whatever you want in life and you will have all the resources you need…you will be provided for.” This daily mantra was powerful and profound.
As my healing journey proceeded, it soon hit me that I could die of this disease and that, for my son, I need to do my best to recover. As his nurturing mother, I do not desire that he live with the legacy of a mother who died young, before he was a grown man. I chose to survive for him. Aside from my perceived obligations as a mother, I feel quite fulfilled and complete with my life.
Because of my existing condition, fibromyalgia, I am already investing a great deal of money and energy into my ongoing health care. Increased self care and medical expenses required a great deal of adjustment and led to withdrawal and irritability. Another important step along this healing journey was to deeply surrender to dying, regardless of my perceived obligations to my son’s emotional well being. This surrender allowed me the space to die, if that was meant to be and to back off the intense self care. Ultimately, this surrender led to more joy in the moment and less irritability around stepping up self care and increased medical treatments and expenses.
Karmic Gifts
When I finally went to the Breast Disease Specialist, she could not find the lump during the breast exam. She baulked at my natural healing methods and said things that led me to believe she thought I was imaging the lump. Both my husband, close friend and Environmental Illness Specialist can attest to the fact that the breast lump did in fact exist and that it was the size of a marble 6 weeks prior. After the exam, I went into the bathroom to double check. All I felt was a thick line of hard tissue where the lump was located. I reduced it with the above mentioned natural methods and a few day long retreats to our local yoga and retreat center. Since then, the size fluctuates depending on stress and diet, but remains smaller than when first discovered.
My experience with breast dis-ease invited me to step into deep self care and nonattachment. I have adjusted to the increased self care and now experience overall improved health and almost constant bliss. I will continue to monitor the lump with a mammogram this summer and by maintaining this high level of self care and natural treatments. It feels so good and so right to finally be loving myself the way I was born to be loved. I am grateful for all the lessons and all the abundance. Namaste. Jai Ma!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Monday, January 02, 2006
The Gifts found within Living with a Hidden Handicap
by Prana (Regina Barrett)
In the mid nineties, without warning, I received a year long chemical exposure in my new home, that left me with multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. After this diagnosis, in order to recover, I had to shift my lifestyle from identifying heavily with my work to a place of healing and self acceptance. This required deep surrender to a life with a hidden handicap.
Our move to Boulder, Colorado 3 years ago turned out to be very advantageous to my health. The warmer temperatures, decrease in allergens and opportunity to recreate my life, facilitated my healing process. Our holistic realtor/astrologer, Ginny Ross, a very enlightened crone, told us, “People come to Boulder to heal or to be healers.” At the time, we weren’t sure what our path would be. In my case, it turned out to be a little of both. I learned a lot in my time out west about self care, surrender, meditation and refining my work as a holistic health practitioner. Now, I’ve moved back to the Pioneer Valley to be closer to our teenage children and to share what I’ve learned.
In the beginning of my journey of working with my condition, I felt like I would not be accepted by my community as an able person with a disability. Consequently, I would stay at home until I was well enough to emerge. Being the social creature I am, and one who markets her work through creating relationships, I learned to mask my illness as best I could with make up, a healthy appearance and a cheerful disposition. Recovery from this illness requires excellent self care, so looking fit and healthy in the moment is not uncommon. However, just a drop of stress and the body crashes. When this happened to me, I would withdraw, afraid of judgment for not being healthy enough. It was a self judgment I needed to overcome.
The emotional work I have been doing over the past few years, allowed me to move to a place of self acceptance and gratitude and to be able to see the lessons and gifts of this illness. People with my condition are very sensitive, so my abilities as a holistic health practitioner have expanded. I naturally sense energy and have recently been initiated into the medical intuitive field. This increase in clairvoyance and ability to assists other in their healing came as a result of the illness caused by the stress of the move. While in a chronic state of pain and discomfort, I was guided to heal myself. In a meditation, provided by my teacher, Sylvia Brallier, I was given the tools to do so. This has been a profound gift of the illness that I can now use for my personal healing and to assist my community. So far, this has been the greatest gift and one for which I am eternally grateful.
When under stress or allergens, people who suffer from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and multiple chemical sensitivities are highly susceptible to whatever flu or virus is in the air. In addition, they can experience symptoms such as chronic insomnia, brain exhaustion, yeast infections, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, swollen lymph glands, kidney pain and other ailments such as sores, fevers and rashes. Joint pain and weakness, muscle aches and pains can also be part of daily life. Cancer and organ failure are potential by products of these conditions. These symptoms make excellent self care all the more important.
My spiritual practice and devotion to self care allow me to function within society on a part time basis…enough to have a few significant relationships and to work part time. The ability to function and contribute to society can only happen with a great deal of outside support. I arrange for help with most household tasks and work with business partners. Although it is emotionally satisfying to be out in the world, working only part time and sharing revenue with business partners can make it difficult to achieve an adequate income for the support required. Acquiring medical and home support from Social Security or other sources is often a necessity for people who find it difficult to work full time. With adequate support people with hidden handicaps like myself can live manageable lives.
Discovering ways to continue to work within a field that is intrinsically nurturing and supportive, has been one of the many blessings of this illness. After a serious ankle injury in my first day of a month long yoga training in Costa Rica; rather than return home and do the training next year, I chose to do the entire training modified for my injury. By the end of this journey (four months living with a disability in a developing country), I was gifted with the ability to be a therapeutic yoga practitioner and now specialize in working with individuals recovering from injuries and illness.
Restorative yoga is an excellent practice for those living with chronic stress and illness. Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (PRYT) can also be a wonderful way to move through emotional blockages in the body that tend to slow the healing process. In this modality, practitioners provide a therapeutic stretch that can be very healing when you feel too weak to do yoga on your own. Receiving yoga in a PRYT session, increases the healing effect of many restorative yoga poses and it feels so good to be supported on so many levels…mind, body and spirit. A therapeutic and restorative approach to yoga, allows those with disabilities, illness and injuries to still reap the many healing benefits of yoga, on the path to health.
To learn more about living with a hidden handicap and how to manage chronic illness through lifestyle changes, visit http://www.pranaheals.com She can also be reached at 1-888-253-2114. Prana specializes in therapeutic yoga and yoga lifestyle counseling. She also works with a network of holistic health practitioners who can assist you on your holistic healing journey. Prana offers classes and private sessions in Northampton, Conway and Shelburne Falls.
by Prana (Regina Barrett)
In the mid nineties, without warning, I received a year long chemical exposure in my new home, that left me with multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. After this diagnosis, in order to recover, I had to shift my lifestyle from identifying heavily with my work to a place of healing and self acceptance. This required deep surrender to a life with a hidden handicap.
Our move to Boulder, Colorado 3 years ago turned out to be very advantageous to my health. The warmer temperatures, decrease in allergens and opportunity to recreate my life, facilitated my healing process. Our holistic realtor/astrologer, Ginny Ross, a very enlightened crone, told us, “People come to Boulder to heal or to be healers.” At the time, we weren’t sure what our path would be. In my case, it turned out to be a little of both. I learned a lot in my time out west about self care, surrender, meditation and refining my work as a holistic health practitioner. Now, I’ve moved back to the Pioneer Valley to be closer to our teenage children and to share what I’ve learned.
In the beginning of my journey of working with my condition, I felt like I would not be accepted by my community as an able person with a disability. Consequently, I would stay at home until I was well enough to emerge. Being the social creature I am, and one who markets her work through creating relationships, I learned to mask my illness as best I could with make up, a healthy appearance and a cheerful disposition. Recovery from this illness requires excellent self care, so looking fit and healthy in the moment is not uncommon. However, just a drop of stress and the body crashes. When this happened to me, I would withdraw, afraid of judgment for not being healthy enough. It was a self judgment I needed to overcome.
The emotional work I have been doing over the past few years, allowed me to move to a place of self acceptance and gratitude and to be able to see the lessons and gifts of this illness. People with my condition are very sensitive, so my abilities as a holistic health practitioner have expanded. I naturally sense energy and have recently been initiated into the medical intuitive field. This increase in clairvoyance and ability to assists other in their healing came as a result of the illness caused by the stress of the move. While in a chronic state of pain and discomfort, I was guided to heal myself. In a meditation, provided by my teacher, Sylvia Brallier, I was given the tools to do so. This has been a profound gift of the illness that I can now use for my personal healing and to assist my community. So far, this has been the greatest gift and one for which I am eternally grateful.
When under stress or allergens, people who suffer from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and multiple chemical sensitivities are highly susceptible to whatever flu or virus is in the air. In addition, they can experience symptoms such as chronic insomnia, brain exhaustion, yeast infections, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, swollen lymph glands, kidney pain and other ailments such as sores, fevers and rashes. Joint pain and weakness, muscle aches and pains can also be part of daily life. Cancer and organ failure are potential by products of these conditions. These symptoms make excellent self care all the more important.
My spiritual practice and devotion to self care allow me to function within society on a part time basis…enough to have a few significant relationships and to work part time. The ability to function and contribute to society can only happen with a great deal of outside support. I arrange for help with most household tasks and work with business partners. Although it is emotionally satisfying to be out in the world, working only part time and sharing revenue with business partners can make it difficult to achieve an adequate income for the support required. Acquiring medical and home support from Social Security or other sources is often a necessity for people who find it difficult to work full time. With adequate support people with hidden handicaps like myself can live manageable lives.
Discovering ways to continue to work within a field that is intrinsically nurturing and supportive, has been one of the many blessings of this illness. After a serious ankle injury in my first day of a month long yoga training in Costa Rica; rather than return home and do the training next year, I chose to do the entire training modified for my injury. By the end of this journey (four months living with a disability in a developing country), I was gifted with the ability to be a therapeutic yoga practitioner and now specialize in working with individuals recovering from injuries and illness.
Restorative yoga is an excellent practice for those living with chronic stress and illness. Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (PRYT) can also be a wonderful way to move through emotional blockages in the body that tend to slow the healing process. In this modality, practitioners provide a therapeutic stretch that can be very healing when you feel too weak to do yoga on your own. Receiving yoga in a PRYT session, increases the healing effect of many restorative yoga poses and it feels so good to be supported on so many levels…mind, body and spirit. A therapeutic and restorative approach to yoga, allows those with disabilities, illness and injuries to still reap the many healing benefits of yoga, on the path to health.
To learn more about living with a hidden handicap and how to manage chronic illness through lifestyle changes, visit http://www.pranaheals.com She can also be reached at 1-888-253-2114. Prana specializes in therapeutic yoga and yoga lifestyle counseling. She also works with a network of holistic health practitioners who can assist you on your holistic healing journey. Prana offers classes and private sessions in Northampton, Conway and Shelburne Falls.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
