In the Stillness

It is Her nature to dance with great joy, and therefore there is always a gentle motion, a slight sway in your being, even when you are absolutely still. - Swami Chidvilasananda

This has been a particularly quiet winter for me… Traveling back and forth from CO to MA is no longer part of my reality. After 5 years, I have manifested “normalcy” again. The breast cancer heaing process has kept me close to home. Arriving in the place of Self as Teacher, I am needing to stay quiet and listen to my inner wisdom for the subtle, and not always so subtle, messages my body is sending me to continue my healing process.

I am faced with endless amounts of quiet, empty time, that I am SO tempted to fill. My first response was to call on friends to stop by and entertain me with conversation. That has been nice. When I am not socializing, I discover all those undone projects…filing, arranging plants to create a jungle in my home, reconnecting with old friends via phone and email, practicing the piano, deepening my meditation practice, and FINALLY, deepening my self care. Interesting how that came last…

During this empty time, I am discovering how much I want to fill my time and also how much I have forgotten my Self. How much of Self I have left behind as I fill my time with activities that some how validate my existence…friends, more work and income, developing my abilities to serve others. But what about using this time to fill, what for so many years has been emptied for service, money and self validation.

I am now finding time, for the activities that serve me and my healing…filling me…filling Self, as Goddess/God had always intended. Treating my body as a temple…honoring her, worshiping her, decorating her, gifting her… healing her.

I invite you to take advantage of the quiet, still time to create spaciousness in your life. Allow time for the parts of Self to unfold. Notice what Self is asking for.

Is it self care that you have been neglecting?… Physical therapy exercises? A daily yoga practice? Meditation? Healing baths vs. quick showers? Are you getting enough sleep? Taking

the time to prepare healthy meals?

Or is it a creative project that feeds your soul?…Have you been desiring to take up painting or playing a musical instrument? Knitting? Sewing? Creating herbal products for yourself and your family?

As you spend time in stillness in your home, you may discover new simple ways to arrange your home so that it serves you?… Plants? An altar? Add a humidifier or an air purifier, or both?
Is there a book you’ve been wanting to read, that you know will deepen your well being?
What else shows itself to you during this still time?

If you are someone who continues to be busy during the winter, then how can you create more stillness in your life? Is it necessary for you to work so many hours? Can you take some space and figure out how to streamline your schedule? Are you using your time in a way that best serves Self? Are you living for others needs and not your own? God/Goddess wants us to be happy and healthy, not depleted and overworked. When we get into that state, we really aren’t serving anyone in a quality way. However, when we are living our bliss, healthy and easeful, our gifts unfold naturally and effortlessly and abundance flows into our lives. We attract in this healthy state of being…rested and fulfilled.

It can be scary to have empty time. Why is it scarey for you? I invite you to find the courage to sit in stillness and wait for something to show itself to you that nurtures Self. If you are at all like me, someone who has been on the move my whole life, the stillness can be unsettling. Try playing soothing music, do restorative yoga and meditation. You are still…doing, which your mind likes, but you are allowing spaciousness in your body, mind and spirit for something new to come in…new wisdom and awareness.

Moving beyond the giving of Self to others or busying oneself to fill empty time, can be a process, with layers of transformation. Life coaching, Yoga Lifestyle Counseling and Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy are ways to peel back the layers and focus your life in a way that serves Self. When you are ready, I am available to assist you on your journey to Self. For more info on these offerings visit http://www.pranaheals.com/.

Enjoy the winter with ease, light and love…radiating the yoga from your being.

Namaste. Jai Ma!Prana

As She gently moves in and around you, She sings to Herself. So listen to the sound She makes. Whatever you hear, every sound manifests from her. As you become absorbed in the inner sound of the Shakti, you glide into meditation. Your breath is Her whisper. Your breath is Her song. Your breath is Her dance. To please Shakti, to awaken Her within us, and to keep Her glory manifest in our being, we chant Her own song to Her - the sound of Om.

- Swami Chidvilasananda

Fall/Winter Yoga Class
Schedule 2007/08
at Northampton Athletic Club
www.nohoac.com

Tuesday 6:45 - 7:45 a.m. Hatha Mixed Level

Wednesday 6:50 - 8:20 p.m. Hatha Mixed Level

Thursday Noon - 1:oo p.m. Hatha Mixed Level

Sunday 10:30 - Noon Gentle/Restorative

For more information about my classes or private sessions visit my website at http://www.pranaheals.com/

To receive my quarterly newsletter, "Lessons on Yoga", write me at info@pranaheals.com

Peaceful and Alive

With the unseasonably warm weather and lots of socializing during the peak foliage season and Halloween, my body is open, receiving and flowing in the pranic energy that is being generated internally and externally. Despite the warm weather, I notice my body is also craving soups rather that salads…still preparing for winter…turning inward.

In the asana practice, we seem to be coming into balance…backbends becoming smaller, gently warming into forward bends. Our movement has slowed down after a faster paced summer and fall.

We are bringing the internal environment into balance with alternate nostril breathing, three part breathing and longer meditations….calming the internal environment and the mind…“Give the mind a rest.”, you will often hear me suggest in my classes.

And of course, balancing poses can aid in this process, so we continue to balance in each class. Lately, we have been playing in, or preparing for, headstands and supported handstands…shifting moods, attitudes and reversing the flow of fluids within the body.

I also find twists to be very helpful this time of year. When we shut the windows and turn on the heat in our homes and cars, we significantly increase the concentration of indoor air pollution from household products, dust, and allergens. Twists can help to squeeze these toxins out of the organs, to the kidneys and skin for elimination. Irritability can rise as the body detoxes. Twists, a hot bath followed by a cool shower, or regular saunas can also aid in the natural cleansing process.

On those cooler nights and mornings, we are adding some warming pranyama, like Lions Breath or Kapalbhati Breathing. Heating up the internal environment and raising energy. Lions Breath can also provide an emotional release for the irritability that can arise when the body is eliminating toxins. Nothing like three good growls to shift your mood.

Take time to rest and enjoy the harvest of your summer and fall efforts. Take in the colors, smells and as much fresh air as possible with brisk walks, hikes or bike rides. Enjoy the breaks as much as the exertion by eating warming foods, while spending time with friends and family who support who you truly are.

How can you bring your body more into balance in your daily life with twists, heat, rest, cleansing and exercise? I invite you to bring more peace and aliveness into your day.

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Prana

On a Personal Note

My husband, Rene and I did a 5 year recommitment ceremony during peak fall foliage, October 22, 2007. I am still feeling the prana from the energy that we raised.

We conducted a private co-created ceremony under a big orange maple tree at the Japanese Tea House at Smith College. We walked, moved and glided through orange leaves as we raised energy around us and within us. We listened to sacred chants and songs, shared our desires for support and affirmed that support in creating our most precious dreams of health, travel, family and bliss.

Many having been asking about my health. I have been guided not to write about it anymore, so that is why you haven’t heard much in this forum. I am in a maintenance phase of my healing. My body sends clear messages as to what is needed. I listen and act accordingly. I feel strong and healthy when I am living my Truth. I thank you for your concern and ongoing support.

CD Release

Self Love is in its final stages of completion. Currently, the plan is to submit samples of the CD to be signed with a recording company. Once I hear back, the CD will be released, first in a format that can be purchased and downloaded off my website. Soon thereafter, it will be available on CD. Preordering is still encouraged to expedite CD production.

Brief Health Update

I chose not to provide a health update in my newsletter b/c I feel I am moving beyond the breast cancer into being cancer free and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I took a very powerful healing retreat to Harbin Hot Springs Heart Consciousness Church where I soaked in the healing water daily, received the yoga and weekly transformational Amanae sessions with my teacher Gita (Satya Marga). I also did a session of hypnomassage, which I also found very informative and healing.

I chose to spend about 2 1/2 weeks in silence in this very social place to learn to maintain my energetic boundries. I lived in nature for two weeks, camping. Animal teachers came to me almost every day. I felt blessed to experience not only the power and wisdom of wild animals, but my main teachers have become domestic cats. There is really no way to briefly articulate all I experienced. Some day, I will write the book. Right now, I feel that much of my reserves need to go into me and when I have a good deal of surplus, that energy will go into teaching how one can heal naturally through personal transformation. The best way to receive these teaching from me right now is to come to my classes and work with me privately. B/c of my transformation and ever increasing clairvoyance, I have reached new heights in my teaching and private work. I welcome you to explore the yoga and teachings with me.

As I move deeper into knowing what serves me and become more and more connected to my Source...my Truth and how that Truth informs my daily life, the cancer becomes less present in my body. I have been living with a "lump" (inflammation) that increases and decreases in size daily for about 2 months. The fluctuation has been a direct result of whether I am living my Truth or not. The effects of diet, sleep and treatments have been secondary. The "lump" has finally dissolved and all I feel is scare tissue where the lumpectomy surgery took place.

To be sure I am being "responsible" and ensuring the cancer is cleared, I continue Iscador injections and have begun a new treatment of Vitamin C IVs with Latrile. After my first IV, the lump completely dissolved, so I am making this preventative investment.

I continue to take all my cancer killing supplements, eat an alkalizing diet, exercise, do daily yoga, prayer, meditation, visualizations, chi gong and mostly, live my Truth and Bliss every moment. I have taken many risks and have been held by the Universe with each step I take toward my Truth.

It has been quite a ride. I am grateful and feeling all the benefits of the gift of breast cancer.

My journey has not been an easy one and every individual must take their own path to healing. This has been my chosen path and what has worked for me.

Thank you for your ongoing support and concern for my well being. Most of all thank you for honoring my chosen path to healing.

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Prana
www.pranaheals.com

Summer Yoga with Prana

“Join our diverse yoga community at Northampton Athletic Club (NAC)

as a day guest or member”

Visit www.nohoac.com

I will list my schedule below for your convenience…

Tuesday6:45 - 7:45 a.m.
Wednesday6:50 - 8:20 p.m.
ThursdayNoon - 1:15 p.m.

New CD Project

Self Love...with Prana

Yoga for Relaxation: A Guided Visualization and Gentle and Restorative Asana Flows

Double CD with Photos of Poses

Support Production by Preordering Today

Introductory Offer$22.00

(CDs will be available by end of August)

Order by sending a check payable to:Regina Barrett, P.O. Box 217, Conway, MA 01341

Opening and Expanding into Summer

After a long rainy spring here in western MA we took one more deep dive inward to evaluate our intentions and assess our direction before moving, with intention, into high summer.
Last week, as the rains fell upon us and locked us in humidity, we used this warmth and dampness to go deep into the hips. Another opportunity to release the old patterns and move into life in a new way.

Now that the sun is upon us and we are feeling summer, we will slowly begin to open and prepare the spine for back bends. I also invite you to use the energy and flexibility that warm weather offers to bring your yoga to a new level.

We are also beginning to lubricate the vocal cords with throat openers and sounding, while gently expanding the heart center and ribs. As the heart center opens, along with the throat, we can move into our summer intentions with clear and honest communication.

As we become more active and productive, we can remain grounded by practicing poses such as lunge, warrior and deep squats.

Strengthening the core allows us to maintain our intentions as life becomes busier. Continuing to sink deeply into Self, as we spin off into a social and active summer. A daily meditation practice can support any need for clarity and focus.

I encourage you to enjoy the relaxation that this time of year offers. Also, use your strong centered loving yoga voice to say "no, thank you” to those social engagements that don’t serve your highest good and the highest good of all. Practice discerning what serves Self in each moment. What is it that nourishes your soul? How would your precious and sacred moments best serve Self? The Highest, most blissful You.

I look forward to practicing with you and sharing the yoga.

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Prana
http://www.pranaheals.com

My sub list for my medical leave beginning April 23rd and ending June 4th

Sundays 10:30 - Noon Restorative Class is canceled for the summer. The following workshops will be offered in it's place...

April 29th Twisting into Spring with Rosalie
May 12th Backbends with Michael C.

Tuesdays 6:45 - 7:45 a.m. Mixed Level Hatha Leslie (Rosalie for May 29th)

Wednesdays 6:50 -8:20 p.m. Mixed Level Hatha Michael T.

Thursdays Noon - 1:15 p.m. Chakra Yoga Ellie

Thursdays 4:15 - 5:15 p.m. Canceled for summer

I'll miss sharing the yoga with you. Please continue to practice the yoga while I am away.

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Prana

Dear Inner Circle,

How are you?

I am writing b/c many of you have heard of my decision to not move forward with the surgery (mastectomy). I am experiencing some acceptance by those who get me and a lot of concern, sadness and anger from others. I feel the need to bring my community into alignment with my choice b/c your thoughts and conversations effect my healing process.

I want you to know that I was more than willing to let go of my breast. I was excited for the reconstruction. I have a wonderful team of MDs and practitioners supporting me. However, as the surgery approached, I was bombarded with many surprises about my treatment plan. It required way too much compromises and helped me to realize that going this route is absolutely not my Truth. It is not what I believe will heal me. I have always believed that this path was more destructive than healing. It has been too much of a paradigm shift to make in less than a month. I need a gentler path. One that includes spirituality and natural methods. At this stage, I am not willing to subject myself to nuclear medicine and radiation. I already feel I have moved further down this path than was in my comfort zone. I did so, b/c of outside influences and b/c of my own fear.

My faith in my own ability to heal myself has been restored b/c big miracles have happened in my life in the past week or so. Some day I will write a book about the multitude of miracles that have transpired this year. It is too extensive to write in one e mail and those who have not experienced such miracles in their lives may be skeptical. I do not want that energy in my field.

Medically, my oncologist has informed me that the cancer on the margins of the biopsy were contained in tumors and not running wild (invasive). The invasive cancer was removed. When I check in with my breast and my body, I feel my ability to heal. My medical intuitive, who cleared her breast cancer with very little natural or western medical intervention, also agrees and is assisting me. Much has passed over the past year that has moved me from a state of fear and loneliness to a state of health, confidence and trust. I am completely content being with myself and my guides. I am being fully supported by the Universe.

So I ask you to visualize with me that I CAN DO IT! I have healthy, cancer free breasts and I am being fully supported on my path to clear the cancer. The cancer is cleared NOW.

Set all your doubts and worries aside and join me in this powerful affirmation of my ability to self heal.

I have my own ability to monitor the cancer. Trust that I do. Please do not ask me to be monitored medically. Every additional mammogram or biospy just aggravates my body and breast. It is not productive.

I am off to Harbin for an extended retreat with no return date. I will stay for as long as I need to. I will know when it is time to return. I need to isolate myself from others feelings/concerns. I look forward to being one with nature, being surrounded by light beings and doing yoga that serves my healing.

I will see you when I return. My medical leave is 6 weeks. In that past, a few weeks at Harbin was more than enough. We'll see what this trip brings.

Happy Spring! Happy May!

I love you all SOOOO much!

Prana

“Falling Back into Oneself” - Osho

Ignited by the longer days and spring energy rise, I have decided to share a bit of my winter yoga journey with you.

The winter, for me, has been a repetition of opportunities to play in “emptiness”. My breast cancer walk has turned out to be primarily a solo journey. Of course, many have contributed to my healing. I thank you all for the CDs, soups, reiki, prayers, support, gifts, cards and check ins. However, ultimately, I have been left with a great deal of alone time and healing to do on my own. An opportunity to “fall back into oneself”. I have continued to see it as a gift. It has allowed me to drop deeply into what my body needs to heal. I am taking each step with intention and consciousness. My breast is demanding this of me. Any miseating or stress causes my breast to inflame and the tumor to increase in size. When I listen and nurture my body, the breast calms down and the inflammation subsides.

So back to my lessons…there have been so many. I can not attempt to cover all of them in one article. Perhaps the book will follow some day. There have been many lessons around tribe. At first, I was bowled over by the support from my women friends. That lasted about a month. The holidays rushed in and everyone disappeared. Timing is everything. The lack of community and extended family support left me and my immediate family to bare the care and all that comes along with a cancer diagnosis. The financial and physical stress created a major strain on my primary relationship. I was left to handle much of my care, and manifestation of outside care, on my own. Yet, another opportunity to “fall back into oneself”.

My daily meditation practice kept me steady and sane during these moments of “hard times“. The yogic teaching helped me to understand the gifts available to me in this challenging and lonely time. Many moments of bliss and contentment were found on my cushion. The simplicity of this experience was profound.

After several months of struggle and finding my way through the madness that cancer can activate in a family, a community and ones mind, my earth angel home helper appeared. I hired her without the money to do so, trusting that if I took care of myself, I would be provided for. Very soon, the money appeared…just enough. Soon the financial support that was needed for the alternative medical care came through, but not until I received all the lessons I needed around manifestation and holding prosperity and abundance. There were also early lessons around asking for and receiving support. These lessons have been unfolding for several years, as I apply my spiritual practice, lifestyle and manifestation principles.

I am grateful to all my practitioners that worked on a promise for a few months. All the money for my care and support was manifested solely by me, while healing cancer. It was a stress I did not think I could endure, but was necessary. If one chooses, when one’s life is at stake, one finds resources. I am grateful to my partner Rene, who steadily kept our household expenses a float during this time. Without this support, things would have been much tougher. With will and desire, I was also been able to maintain my part time teaching schedule and a light load of private clients. Providing service/making a contribution has been essential for my healing. The regular asana yoga practice I share with my students gives me daily energy/life force/prana. Sharing yoga in a group always raises the energy/universal vibration in the Club. Overall, I find Northampton Athletic Club has very “clean” (healthy) clear energy. Come check it out some time. They have saunas!

Now that I am feeling fully provided for and have found the support I need within, I feel much lighter. My healing journey has really just begun. I learned a lot from my practitioners about lifestyle changes that I needed to make. I had no choice, but to walk my Truth in order to heal my breast. My breast has been speaking to me all along the way. The cancer has been a teacher in finding my way back to my pure essence…living my bliss, being healthy. And by being healthy, I mean feeling my cells alive and my energy high…thriving. Elena and Lenore’s nourishing cooking has helped tremendously in experiencing the healing gifts of food. I am also truly grateful to my teachers, Sylvia and Ariana and all my friends who offered sage advice around putting ME first…COMPLETELY loving Self. “Falling back into oneself” was a necessary step to come into the kind of self love that is needed to heal naturally.

I have had periods when life has been full, but a constant has been much alone time in a rural town this winter. Because I have limited energy to drive and visit others, I had no choice but to have “tea” with mySelf each and every day. I love to feel the bliss I feel when I am doing exactly what I love to do and what my body needs in each moment. It is pure ecstasy! My preference is to be in tribe, but I can also do this. I trust there is a lesson in it around being in tribe. When one is solid within oneself and unaffected by others, then one can be One with everything else. I felt that today on my walk. I felt the evenness…steadiness…of oneness…being neutral. My actions were not effecting anyone else. No one else was effecting me. I was at peace.

Always grateful to you for reading and for practicing the yoga.

Namaste.

Jai Ma!

Prana
www.pranaheals.com

Breast Cancer Update

For those who are concerned or curious, I will provide a brief health status update.
A year ago, I discover a marble sized breast lump. It has been a very stressful year and a half, which included three moves, two teaching location changes and an unsettled family environment. I can honestly say that I have done an excellent job changing my diet, exercising, self care, spiritual growth and getting the care I need. I received the best natural care in the Valley. However, cancer is cancer. It grows fast. A year later, the tumor is now 2 cm X 2 cm. Yoga teachers are famous for their small breasts, so this is a significant size for me.

I also grew tired of the daily awareness that every move I made or feeling I was having effected my breast and the size of the tumor. I was feeling held back from engaging fully in my life because of all the pressure to heal myself. I like to be out in the world enjoying life. I felt the need to take the pressure off and allow myself to have some sugar now and then, a glass of sake once in a while. To feel that I will be o.k. if I lose a few hours sleep here and there to stay up a little later.

As I hit this lifestyle maintenance wall, I decided to check in with my Oncologist.
She has been very supportive of my choices and took it upon herself to inquire about a “low impact” lumpectomy with local anesthesia and no radiation. She sent me to another surgeon for a second opinion who was also very supportive. I received the surgery yesterday at Cooley Dickinson Hospital. With prayers, support, a calming herbal tea and the medicine bhudda chant, I came through the procedure and am feeling pretty strong and only experiencing very minor pain.

Minimizing the chemicals (pain killers/anesthesia) in my body, prayer, choosing the right Dr., the 4 month detox lifestyle/diet and a week long vacation in Florida the week before the surgery must have all contributed to this surgery going much smoother than the previous. I also got to see an operating room and be awake during a surgery which most women do heavily sedated. It was scary, but also felt very empowering.

While in the hospital, it was difficult not to notice how much holistic health is missing from this health care setting. During the series of 6 mammograms necessary to locate the tumor, I could have really used a neck massage with some arnica. Instead, the radiologist stood in the space as we waited for the X Rays to develop, fumbling around nervously trying to spark up conversation to distract me. I chanted to myself and gazed at my beautiful medicine bhudda pendant through the discomfort of the neck pain and sore breast. It could have been so much more healing if she was willing to give a neck rub or offer something natural and healing for neck and the breast pain. Rescue remedy for the trauma. It also would have been beneficial to my healing and experience to be permitted to have a close friend or healer with me providing reiki, massage and natural remedies, holding my hand and chanting with me throughout the surgery.

The doctor and nurses did an excellent job. I accepted them as who they were, and in their own way, they all offered healing and love. They were all acting from their Highest Place for the Highest Good and were all performing at their Highest Potential. This was my prayer as I entered the surgery and it was how it turned out. There were moments when I felt held by the circle of women working on the surgery. It was a spiritual experience. As spiritual as we all felt comfortable being in front of each other. It was as if it was under the surface or instead, possibly the Universal Oneness of all of us practicing our own individual and collective spirituality and healing abilities. The medicine bhudda picture lying next to my head and my prayers and intentions may have created the vibe...safety and atmosphere for all to engage from their Highest place.

My husband, Rene, took the day off and we made an adventure of it. Staying in each moment fully and laughing most of the day. I felt good enough afterwards to get some plant medicine in the Smith College greenhouse by sitting in the tropical room and inhaling the fragrances and colors of the Bulb Show. What a great thing to do after day stay surgery.

I will know my pathology results in a few days. I began Iscador injections a month ago. I think this medicine is making me stronger as well. Iscador is a homeopathic remedy made from mistletoe. It has been studied for 15 years in Switzerland and is now commonly used as an alternative to radiation and chemo in Switzerland and Germany. Studies show that it is more effective. I will continue these injections and healthy living and monitor the cancer growth/presence with a mammogram in six to 12 months.

Thanks for your concern, thoughts, prayers and love. I am in good hands and feel stronger and healthier than ever.

Healing Breast Cancer Naturally Update

Back from my one month healing retreat. I took a few weeks at home in MA and a few weeks in Boulder. I had moments of rest and healing , but mostly enjoyed the holidays and snow with family and community. It felt good to shift out of the detox mode for a while, feel my healed body and see what it is capable of. My digestion has REALLY improved after 10 months of strict dieting. I chose to dabble in some “off diet” foods with very little problems. I have been continuing treatments that promote detox and they allow me to feel into what my body desires, so it has also not been difficult to go back to a clean diet. I don’t have that big post holidays sugar addiction to deal with. Yay!

Some folks have expressed that they have questions about my condition, but don’t want to ask and possibly upset me. Let me try and provide a brief update. I recently sent out a wonderful article from the Chopra Center that sums up beautifully the “cancer walk”. See http://www.chopra.com/chopra/general/default.aspx?oid=126872

Overall, the healing process has been highly transformational experience. It has become clear to me that my lifestyle needs to dramatically shift to continue to heal the cancer and prevent a reoccurrence. I have had many physical and spiritual indications that the cancer is clearing, if not totally clear. However, when I miseat, I have experienced inflamed lymph in my chest and can feel the lump. When inflamed, the limp is larger than a quarter, flat and thick. Restaurant meat (hormones), sugar and alcohol have been big aggravators. I did have a few scares while trying some holiday foods and restaurant food in CO. Rest, yoga, hot tubbing, clay and essential oil applications brought my breast quickly into balance again…no palpable lump or swollen lymph.

I am finding that I really need to put my health ahead of everything else. I am watching my patterns to want to keep up with folks who have more energy and to partake in physically active past times like dancing and skiing. Some days are easier than others to shift my level of exercise and productivity to something more gentle and that fits my rhythm. I have had some amazing Earth plane angels/teachers show me how to enjoy life without being physically active. I am grateful to them (Sara, the other goddess in flannel PJs at the sensuality night, Jemma and others who have caught my eye as I observe how others live in their bodies with acceptance).

I am finding that exercise is also critical to my healing. My body gets oxygenated and that oxygen gives me energy and I feel healthier. If I do not exercise, I feel easily fatigued and have low energy. I also find that if I exercise too much, I cause a set back (extreme fatigue and illness). I had a bit of this in CO, trying to keep up with my athlete companions.

So I am continuing on to find a new balance in my life. I am getting closer to getting some reliable help around the house when Rene is working in CO. I found a wonderful women who is part of the meditation community and seems like an easeful fit. We'll see if that is meant to come together for me. I am noticing that there is a plan to all this...a divine order that I do not have much control over. We are all getting our lessons. Big lessons around "family" and support.

I start work on Sunday. I tried some yoga while on retreat and feel strong, but also a bit out of shape. Need to build my flexibility and strength up…or not. I am enjoying a new way of sharing the yoga. My meditation practice continues to deepen and is bringing amazing gifts of light, clarity and oneness to my life.

While in Boulder, I realized my need for connection, as Boulder is a high energy social place. Folks meet up every night of the week and go on adventures every weekend. At times I found this a bit exhausting, but in general I was fed by all the connecting. I am concerned that life is so quiet in MA right now. I hope to reach out to new communities to create more of a social network. I am also desiring to find a mellow crowd that is more into connecting as community with spiritual unity and play.

I was deeply touched by my yoga community in Boulder and miss that here in MA. My yoga community will be praying for my healing. I was given the medicine Buddha mantra by my guru, Baba Ji. He says that if I visualize the medicine buddha in my third eye, heart and nadis (meridians), I will experience deep personal healing.

I have shifted profoundly as a result of this dis-ease. I have learned much about myself and how I need to love myself more than ever. I have learned a great deal about family and community. It has been interesting to be in a position of only being able to receive and not give back for an indefinite period of time. However, over the years, I feel I have earned this privilege and can receive with grace and gratitude.

I feel I am in the groove with the Universe. The timing of things has been impeccable. I feel I can totally release into the support of my guides and know I will be held fully. I feel very tuned into what is best for me and am being patient with myself and others, as we all adjust to my new lifestyle.

I am grateful to all who have helped out. Thanks for reading and caring about me and my family.

For those who need details about my healing path, I will outline some specifics below…

I would l ike to preface by saying that there are so many healing options and I went with what my trusted practitioners recommended, my own research and what felt best for my body, mind and spirit.

My main healing path includes a detox/alkalarian diet, some natural supplements that kill cancer cells (I-C-3 and IP-6), acupuncture, shiatsu, clay applications to breast to remove toxins and essential oil breast massages (lavender and frankincense).

I applied poke root oil and a tumor clearing herbal salve for two weeks. The burning sensation and toxic rash became too much to tolerate, so I stopped. I am encouraged to reapply as need when lump flares up.

For stress redux, I have received a lot of reiki/energy work. I also meditate daily for about a half hour. I hope to increase this to an evening sit as well. I also do yoga as needed and walk or exercise almost daily. Oxygenating the body is important when one has cancer b/c cancer likes to live in an anaerobic environment. I also took a Chi Gong course, which was very balancing, but don’t really have a daily routine. I need to take more classes. I have also received a few biofeedback sessions and foot reflexology, which both promoted relaxation.

I am also taking a pile of supplements for digestion, pain (muscle, joints, migraines), stress, antioxidants and immune system boosters.

I am seriously considering Iscador, mistletoe injections, to ensure the cancer does not reoccur. I would need to give myself three injections per week for about a year. The research shows that Iscador keeps major tumors from growing and extends life more effectively than chemo or radiation. It has been used in Germany and Switzerland for many years and is covered by insurance there. I still need to consult with my MD as to which of the many options is the best course of extreme treatment. (Where to put my healing dollars).

I received two vitamin C IVs and they made me feel bad…acidic, kidney pain and tired, so I chose to stop that for now.

I also take pH drops and Super Greens daily.

I am also receiving regular spiritual counseling and energetic healing to manage all the emotional transformation and lifestyle changes taking place. For me, this has been the most important part of the healing journey...to look at what is not working in my life and to move into my Truth.

A JourneyDance weekend was very transformative, as well as the Womb and Belly Conference. It was so sweet spend the day healing with a group of women and to receive snake medicine. The ancient art of snake healing is very powerful. The snake helped to be able to ask and receive, which has been critical to my healing.

As for follow up and monitoring…that is a tough one. I have been reading some nasty stats on mammograms. Susan Weed’s Breast Health book states that one mammogram can double a 35 year old women’s chances of getting breast cancer. I have already had about 20 - 30 on my left breast. I may get an MRI soon, if I can get the Drs. to give me one and for insurance to cover it. They are not considered protocol and I am not following western med protocol anyway, so the insurance game gets a bit tricky. I will also be taking an estrogen test soon to see how my estrogen levels are doing. I am proestrogenic, which causes aggressive cancer growth. Hence, the need to stay away from meat (hormones).

Most of all, I am listening to my body. I know when it is healthy…not acidic and stressed. I can feel my breast and lymph glands respond to stress and inflammation due to acidic/inflammatory food, pollution and stress. If I feel healthy and strong, I would be surprised if I was dying, right? Kinda makes sense… My digestion has been doing REALLY well, so that is a good sign. Also, fatigue and pain levels are good indicators. I currently need daily household/driving support to keep that all in check. I am tuned in and asking for what I need, so no worries. If you are concerneded and want to contribute to my healing, say a prayer, visit, offer some support, send a card or CD.

I need connection and support to stay on this natural healing path and to be successful. I would like to fully experience that I can completely heal with personal introspection, transformation, gifts from the Earth, prayer and love. I would like to know that family and community are not just a concept in this country, but something that can heal. While living in CR, a few of my CR friends asked me with surprise on different occasions, “Prana, don’t you know that love can heal?” I looked at them dumb founded and said, "I don’t believe I have experienced that in my life or in the lives of my family and community." During this journey, I have felt deeply the love and support of others and see the power that this connection has on one’s healing. It is truly profound.

Since I have been doing the “cancer walk” for about 3 months now, many people in my life are showing signs, and family members have actually right out expressed to me, that they want life back to normal. Many have denied there is even a problem or that I have need for help. I am doing my best to understand that this can be a difficult/ackward journey for many. Very few people recognize the gifts that come when one helps another. I am doing my best to forgive and understand all that. Several have encouraged the surgery/radiation route b/c they are concerned about my choices and others want me to get this over with and not need so much support. I will try and explain below why I will not go that route…

1. I have a weak system and am very sensitive to chemicals. When I have an exposure or experience shock or trauma in my body, my body crashes. I am unable to function and need long term deep healing and care. Back to square one. All the money, time and healing gone to waste. My body was extremely weakened by the biopsy procedure and pain killers. This was a clear sign that another surgery and radiation treatment would only weaken my body further vs. “cure” me.

2. The biopsy procedure activated past life trauma of being tortured as a witch. It felt in no way nurturing or healing. The trauma and discomfort were challenging to bare. My breast was squeezed in a metal vice grip for about an hour, receiving continuous mammograms, while being probed with a core boring surgical needle. Following the surgery, I was brought into the mammogram room and several more mammograms were taken after my breast was freshly cut. The radiologist and nurses were very kind, but that’s about the only good thing I can say about the whole procedure. It felt "primitive" (lacking in holistic philosophy), disconnected and toxic and that was “just” the biopsy.

3. In my opinion, surgery and radiation (the protocol for my condition) are a quick fix. We get cancer b/c the body is out of balance. If we get the body back into balance, the cancer can not live in a healthy environment. A tumor is a ball of toxic material that the body has isolated to be eliminated. Elimination can take place with natural treatments…the tumor can be dissolved or come right out of the skin. I experienced this with my first lump (using diet, warm castor oil massages and essential oils) that I had this past spring and the lump that grew after the biopsy (using detox diet, poke root oil and tumor clearing salve). It does not need to be cut out in a hospital room under sedation. If we do not address the core body/health imbalance issues, cancer WILL reoccur. There is no doubt in my mind. Healing the whole body takes time. It took years of chemical exposures and body abuse to cause the cancer and it will take time, resources and support to get my body back into balance. I am committed to this path.

4. The natural path feels so much more in line with who I am and what my body desires. It has been so fun to use natural remedies from the local area. There is a deep spiritual and primal connection with the Earth and one’s body that takes place when one consciously uses the Earth to heal. I have no fear that I will not survive this. If for some reason, my destiny is different and life does not allow me to heal due to lack of resources and support, then I surrender to this outcome. I see the bigger picture and all it’s lessons. I trust that if I do my best I can on my end and live my Truth, then I will be content with any outcome. I understand that this is a difficult concept for our culture to grasp at this time in our evolution and that this outward resistance may hinder my healing process. I am not sure one can heal naturally without consistent community and family support. However, I do know of two living examples right here in the Valley. That is encouraging.

We’ll see how it goes…

I am open to what is.

Hum Sah (I am that)

Much love and gratitude.

Prana

Living Beyond Illusion

Being in ones 40s has it’s perks, I suppose. This sense of crystal clear clarity comes streaming through around life choices. Having lived in this body for so many years and a practitioner of yoga for 10, my body now sends very clear messages about what serves Self and what does not. I have learned to tune into the messages. It is actually quite simple. When I am making a choice that is not in line with my Truth, my body contracts. Usually in my center…my solar plexus. A chakra just below your breast bone. This chakra, energy center, is where our identity lies in our body…at the center of our being. It is also known as the personality center. Sometimes, the contraction is very subtle.

At this age, we have also had many years of practice in over riding these inner voices and easily move onto what we perceive as the “right choice“. The right choice is often dictated by primal needs such as what is practical or what, instead, serves our fears. A contraction in the root chakra, may be a sign that one is responding from a survival or fear place rather than choosing what is best for the Highest Good. When we choose to respond from a place of Highest Good, giving over our trust in the divine, then we will be guided down our personal path with ease. It is said that if one follows one’s bliss and makes choices from this highest place, we will experience more joy and ease in our life.

In my own life, I have been dancing with choices around family. My teens are living full lives and it is an opportunity for me to move into a more creative place in my life. There is a big door opening in front of me and I am finding the courage to step through it…into the great unknown. Life after raising a family. In my case, it has been 15 ½ years. This is a long time to live your life for two. Again, the shift is subtle. As my son still needs my presence and gentle guidance, I have the opportunity to slowly make the shift into a new phase of life.

My body is changing with age and a long bout of chronic illness. A profession that involves physical performance is requiring change as well. I am finding new ways to share the yoga and pace myself. The work feels like it has matured to a new level and I am being rewarded by a steady flow of students and private clients. I think we all appreciate and can relate to our teachers when they are being human.

My primary relationship is also shifting during this time. What was once needed in this relationship, is not needed as much anymore. There is more opportunity for my partner and I to drop into what serves us most outside of being coparents.

I am finding that the solitude that has been provided to me (which I resisted kicking and screaming because I am such a tribal/social person), has actually served me well in hearing what my body, mind and spirit need.

I check in with my body before taking the optional steps of the day…What to eat for breakfast? What to wear? Which way to drive to work? How do I spend my evening? My free time? I am taking a great deal of quiet time to hear what my body mind and spirit desire. I am noticing that I do not want the same things anymore. My body is craving a diet with more vegetables and less carbs. I’m noticing a subtle change in how I want to appear to the world. Comfort seems to be important, as well as style. I am choosing to be out in the world in a new way…shining and abundant with humility and light. I am not feeling the same need to dance when I go out on the town. Instead I might choose to sit and watch a performance, enjoy an art showing or a gentle walk in the Smith College garden.

I am also carefully choosing with whom I share my precious time. I am not choosing to be drained by conversation that comes from a place of victimization, anger, negativity or inconsideration of others feelings (e.g., gossip). We all go there sometimes. I am choosing not to be around that kind of energy all the time. The friendships I do choose to maintain, and which I am eternally grateful for, are with those who observe their own personal role in their life challenges. They make sincere efforts to do what they can to create a positive shift in their life. If they can’t do it on their own, they seek support in the form of a spiritual counselor, therapist, cocounseling or from the honest reflection with a close friend or family member who is available for this kind of support.

Before I know it, my life is looking quite different. I am attracting what I need and desire in my life and what is not serving my Self is dropping away with ease and grace. The key is to not panic or react when you notice that you are wanting your life to be different. Make the changes slowly. Try on the new changes and see how they feel. If it doesn’t work out, you can wait and see what new ideas rise. During this time of change, it can feel like there is a lot of space in your life. Enjoy this spaciousness. Try not to be afraid of it. It is the door opening. It is the opportunity for quiet and reflection. In that time of quiet and reflection notice what sensations rise in the body…a desire to exercise? Ask yourself, “What type of exercise would feel best today?” A hunger craving? Ask yourself, “What food would serve my body most at this time of day?” Notice what pops in your head. Notice the addictions that rise. A craving for sugar. A desire to sleep even though you already slept more than enough. Check in with your inner wisdom as to what is best. Drop into your solar plexus and ask it what it needs to be your brightest and best today?

Enjoy the unfolding of the new you. Unmask the illusion and see what is beyond it. Who are you today? What are you? What do you desire? What makes you laugh and smile in this stage of life, after something old has been released and something new has space to come in.

For support in living beyond illusion visit http://www.pranaheals.com and set up your first private phone or in person session today. Give yourself this gift for the holidays. What a great way to start the New Year!

Setting Intention for Community

I am just returning from a week long yoga and healing retreat at Harbin Hot Springs Heart Consciousness Church, where I have been studying Anahatha and Standing Wave Yoga for almost 10 years. It is one of the places that I call “Home”. At Harbin, there is a strong and deep seeded intention set for the community life that you experience there. The learning of the group intention begins as soon as you come through the entrance. Lovely people greet you. Registration takes twice the time you would find at any other “resort“. The Harbin experience has already begun. Slowing down, being present, listening, loving… Guests are treated with presence and respect and are given some basic safety rules to agree to upon arrival. All guests are required to pay a monthly or annual membership, so some “ownership” is established from the start. There are tasteful, fun signs where necessary. Mostly, there is a slowing down among everyone. All greet with a loving smile and/or some conversation. The intention to create nomadic community begins to reveal itself quickly, as “strangers” treat you like an old dear friend.

All spaces have loose dress codes and volume levels. There are also many spaces that are designated “silent” or “quiet”. Many whisper wherever they go to respect those who are doing a spiritual or healing retreat.

Although Harbin is a place that encourages going inward and finding and connecting with your Source, there can also be a bit of a “fashion show”. No judgments. It’s fun. It’s a process. I dress up sometimes and don’t dress at all other times. Ishvara, the founder and President of Harbin has written a beautiful article on nudity in the quarterly newsletter. Based on my own experience, freeing myself from the layers that separate me from the elements has allowed me to feel the closest to nature and One with the Mother. Making this connection is of epic importance in this day and age, as society and technology move us further and further away from the planet that sustains our existence. Ishvara also addresses the benefits that nudity has on body image and how it helps us to all feel equal and in acceptance of others, despite our physical flaws.

I do have to mention the fashion though. It is significant. Having been to a few “tribal gatherings” this summer, I have caught a glimpse of the practical, yet sexy attire that has surfaced. Many are wearing a kind of futuristic tribal/community living, close to the Earth wear. Women are sporting boots for hiking around, short skirts, lots of bracelets, carrying baskets or wearing a wide western style leather belt with pockets. Long robes, blanket wraps, shirtless men with flowing or Capri pants are also seen among the crowd. Simple, functional and indicating that living close to the Earth is in fashion. Yay! It was good to see that a women at Dreamtime, was actually hand sewing her own sheik “calf cuffs” (corduroy bell bottom gators) made from an old pair of pants. Double Yay!

The newly erected Temple at Harbin is also in keeping with this style…or intention. A beautiful crafted extra big yurt-like circular mud structure with ceiling beams that spiral up to a point. Very earthy with a slow energy rise.

My favorite place to connect at Harbin is in the Community Kitchen. Many bring food and prep yummy clean meals to inspire all. There is plenty of space to prep and cook, yet one still comes together with someone, or several, at counters, the sink or at the dining tables. Soon your own tribe forms, meals are shared and the sharing continues on the decks, in classes and around the grounds.

In yogic terms, this success in communal and nomadic living, in my eyes, comes down to holding an intention and valuing that intention enough to maintain it as best you can.

When I come in contact with the infectious love that is spread at Harbin through smiles, hugs and evolved conversation, I want to sustain it. I do my inner work to open, to clear my resistances and to take care in my ability to be present and speak with loving, thoughtful language.

I also greatly appreciated dropping technology while at Harbin. Cell phones are not permitted and I resisted the internet café, except to coordinate connecting with my husband who was joining me later in the week. I held off as long as I could and only sent short messages. I felt energetically unplugged. My body was able to return to its natural rhythm, release all tensions and do the healing I came to do.

Maintaining intentions that we believe in and that bring us joy are the easiest to hold and bring into action in our daily lives. Some aspects of the community life I have been describing may not suit you now or ever. Being accepting and compassionate for oneself and others and honoring each individual’s personal journey is one way we can do our best to maintain an intention that serves all.

What are some of your core values that you would like your community to hold as an intention?

In yoga, we call these “yamas” or “willful restraints”. They are: non violence or gentleness, truthfulness, absence of stealing, control over sexual behavior and absence of possessiveness (Ishvara, Oneness in Living, 2002). The yamas are one framework of intention that can be maintained in a yoga community. It is thought by many spiritual practitioners and teachers that if such an intention is held, we will experience less conflict and suffering and instead experience more bliss in our lives. Our path becomes clearer when we eliminate such obstacles from our lives. When we move away from the intention of the yamas, we can experience more conflict, tension, negativity and isolation in our lives. We do not attract a healthy community, but repel those looking for more integrity, trust and ease in relationships. For example, if a coworker, friend or family member lies to, or steals from you, do these actions bring you closer or cause more separation and mistrust?

What are the intentions you would like to hold and model in your community? Try some out for a day or more. See what comes back when you practice honest, loving, thoughtful communication and gestures.

I want to take some space here to touch on the yama, absence of possessiveness. From my vantage point, I believe this is a significant yama or intention for creating community. One that many of us do not address directly. We talk a lot about “letting it go” or “releasing attachment“, but what does that really mean and how do we do it? It’s not easy , is it? But with practice, just like anything, it can become a way of life.

As an experiment, try giving away something that you have that you value or has some significance to you (e.g., money, food, an heirloom, a special altar item, a favorite piece of artwork). How does it feel to share in this way, free of attachment? Can you release it fully to another who will experience joy from your gesture. It may be such a profound gesture that it changes the receiver’s life forever. Or, it may not be well received at all. Many people do not know how to receive with grace, especially something so lovely. It may throw them off a bit and they may not know how to react at first. Can you release any expectations? How does it feel? It can be very freeing. Try it. One gesture at a time.

How many of you give spare change to the homeless you pass on the street, but question whether the money will be used for a drink? Can you give the money freely, letting the receiver make his/her best decision in the moment as to how to spend the money? Releasing control. Accepting that this person may choose a cup of coffee, a cheap bottle of wine or a little food, depending on his/her free will in the moment and leave it at that.

You can take this yama a step further and give someone in your life a bit more freedom from your control. Possibly a teen who is rebelling or a partner or employee that needs more space to grow on their own personal life path, that is different from yours. Can you release these people who you love or need to allow them to experience their bliss? Notice what happens when you do. In my experience, it has brought me closer to these people and everyone is happier in the long run. Grieving may be necessary, but on the other side of grief is love.

You can also play with the concept of envy, another form of possessiveness. The desire to possess what another possesses (e.g., good looks, fame, material items, etc.). Rather than envy those who are blessed with these gifts, try sending them appreciation and acceptance? Instead of choosing envy, nurture within yourself what they have that you desire. See how it feels to release those envious feeling and put that same amount of energy into Self. (Cope, Yoga Journal Oct. ‘06)

Please feel free to use this blog to discuss with others some simple intentions that you would like to see held in your community. Let’s use this blog to create change that we can access where ever we happen to be in the moment.

A big one for me is the intention of being present with one another. Taking time and making time to clearly and lovingly connect every day, in every way, with everyone with whom we come in contact. We are all teachers for each other. I am practicing presence in my daily life and reaping the benefits of my nomadic, moment to moment, ever changing, ever growing community here in western MA and where ever I travel.

What is it that you would like to experience within yourself in your community?

I welcome the dialogue.

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Prana
http://www.pranaheals.com

Living the Dream

I am just returning from a 3 week vacation. This year, much of which was spent on the road…4 days in Truro Cape Cod, a visit with the in laws, a week in Boulder, CO, a few days mountain biking and back country camping in Crested Butte, CO and 4 days at the Dreamtime Festival in Paonia, CO. After living in downtown Boulder for a year and a half, this summer, I had a particular craving to be immersed in nature. We created a vacation filled with these kind of experiences. Camping was our main lodging.

Since I have camped on vacations for most of my life, the experience has become cushier and cushier as the years go by. None the less, there are the usual challenges of making sure there is enough ice in the cooler, that I do not donate too much blood to the local mosquito population and that the bedding stays relatively clean of sand and pine needles.

Now that I am home, my sauna-like “3rd world” apt. feels luxurious…with a private ONLY HOT water shower, a counter top to prep food and a sink. It has been an interesting transition back in that way. An opportunity for gratitude for what I have, even though it may not have been at all what I planned for myself in this stage of life.

Our family has been significantly effected by the shift in economy since 911. My primary partner, Rene was transferred to Denver in 2002, which resulted in moving away from our teenage children. Rene was grateful to have a job in the corporate world, as over half the company was laid off over the past several years. He was transferred with no pay raise to a city with a cost of living that is 20% higher than western MA. The transition and maintaining a consistent long distance relationship with our 4 teenagers, who remained in MA with their other parents, has been draining. After 3 years, my son was needing my presence back in MA, so now we manage two inadequate apts. in both locations. Over the past 3 ½ years we went from owning two homes to this simple and somewhat challenging existence. The entire time, living within a wealthy community, I intuited that we were one of many who were asked to learn to live with less in a culture that continues to promote having more.

As some of you are already aware, I am working on a book, which for now, is called The Tribe. I have accumulated most of my material for this book while living in Costa Rica, where interdependence is a vibrant fiber binding their cultural fabric. I continue to experience, in the US culture, our desire to separate and “do our own thing”. Drive our own individual cars to our own individual homes where our lives revolve around our relationship or immediate family. Being a relatively single women while in MA, with only a visiting husband and teens, I feel this individuation strongly.

It was such a breath of fresh air and surprise to experience the community at the Dreamtime festival in Paonia, CO. The national Rainbow had just taken place in Steamboat Springs, CO, so much of this temporary community was already primed to live together. Conditions were extreme with temps between 90 and 100 and dust was kicking up everywhere you stepped in this desert-like old burn site. The festival coordinators set the stage for community by not allowing vending. There was little money exchanged, so trading and sharing were encouraged. I expected everyone to take care of their own as I have experienced much of my adult life, but instead there was a out pouring of sharing.

Water was a major commodity. A generous women named Brook set up a tea house tent called the Blue Moon, where one could get a cup of chai or iced tea when ever needed. “Rangers” walked around with a jug and cups asking if anyone needed water. Rene and I broke open our grapefruit and offered slices to passer byers. Whenever I had trash in my hands, someone took it for me. The more these gestures occurred, the more sharing continued. A big bowl of water melon was available in the Rent Tent, just as I was getting a little over heated and dizzy. Potluck meals and free meals were offered by total strangers. One of my friends described being at his camp and hearing a man shouting…”Free Spaghetti Dinner…All You Can Eat!” and his dinner needs were taken care of that night.

Another beautiful thing that came out of this event was the hush of cars. Cars came in on Thursday or Friday and then the cars stopped for days. Because we were all being taken care of and provided for, there was no need to drive anywhere. A few cars may have left for an ice or water run now and again, but it was unnoticeable. If it had occurred, a plume of dust would have been kicked up into others camps and would have been noticed. It rarely occurred because we were sharing and taking care of each other.

I left Dreamtime full, very full…of food, water, love, music and transformed from powerful workshops. The entire festival was a cocreation of trade and donation of expertise. The music and workshops were high quality. What a wealth of talent is out there for the sharing.

I returned to our modest studio apt. in Boulder happy to have a private shower and more able to deal with the lack of kitchen; appreciating our open air kitchen which includes a grill and portable sink and counter. It was a relief to be in a clean bed, free of dust. Aaaah, the simple pleasures in life.

When I returned to MA, I found myself needing less time indoors and more time outdoors….more available for connecting with my rural community. I was happy to see that a few women in town created a Farmer’s Market on our local common on Wed. nights. Last night, we had an outdoor dinner on our second story sun porch. Several neighbors stopped by to say “hi”. In both of the yoga classes I taught this week, students brought produce in to share with me and the other students. I feel fed on many levels.

The Dream continues because we want it, we crave it and all it takes is a gesture. What do you have in abundance that you can share to start the flow? Let’s keep it flowing so we need less, share more and always have friends around to share and assist us as we live this life on Earth. How much can we experience right in our own backyard without getting in the car, spending money to be entertained or fed? Experience the satisfaction and fulfillment that community can bring to our lives.

When we live more interdependently, clear, loving and conscious communication becomes more important. With the separation that has occurred over the past 20 - 30 years and the rise in e mail and voicemail use, our communication skills have suffered. In western MA, there is a beautiful movement on the rise initiated by an amazing crone Sandra Boston of the Conscious Communication Institute. Many are taking the simple and affordable trainings to learn these basic skills. Visit www.ccitraining.org for more information. I am also available to assist those who would like support in this area. Visit my website at www.pranaheals.com

For more information on the Dreamtime festival visit www.dreamthefuture.org The coordinators are an inspiration and their future work needs our ongoing support.

Live the Dream!

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Humbled by Breast Dis-ease

In early November of 2005, my primary care physician in Boulder, CO discovered abnormalities in my left breast and recommended a mammogram. The mammogram revealed a mass of calcified cysts and a biopsy was recommended by the Radiologist. I was quickly and compassionately rushed into the western medicine protocol. Everything was moving way too fast. I know several women who have survived breast disease using strictly natural methods. I asked my Environmental Illness Specialist to slow down and that I wanted to treat my condition in this manner. I was supported and also encouraged to get a diagnosis from a Breast Disease Specialist. This appointment was 6 weeks away. I had plenty of time to take natural steps toward healing. Curiously, I had already done research a year ago for a friend in Costa Rica who had discovered breast lumps, so this information was already at my disposal. I am grateful that I did not have to do this research all over again.

The Healing Process

It was interesting to watch my psychological process. Initially, I believe I went into a state of denial around potential outcome of the discovery of the breast lump and quickly moved into acceptance and grace that it may just be my time. My yoga path has taught me deep surrender and acceptance. I am not afraid to die and had been feeling a great deal of completion in my life. I proceeded with self care in an almost automatic and removed way. This state is difficult to describe. I was just numb and at peace.

My dear friend, a clinical herbalist, got me started on a wild crafted herbal formula of Red Clover, Cleavers and Chaparral to break up the lump. She always says, “let the plants guide you." Having been close to many cancer survivors in my lifetime, I knew I also needed to clean up my diet and remove all stress. My acupuncturist began to treat my liver with acupuncture and Chinese herbs. According to Chinese medicine, a 5000 year old medical practice, breast disease is caused by liver dysfunction. If not treated, liver dysfunction will lead to breast cancer. One of my yoga colleagues who is studying Ayurvedic medicine (also a 2000+ year old medical tradition), recommended hot castor oil breast massages and emotional clearing. (Over the past month, I have switched to frankincense and lavender oil breast massage 4 days on and 4 days off.) Her teacher, Alandi, has written a comprehensive article on the emotional and environmental factors contributing to breast disease. To read this article, visit www.alandiashram.org

It was this practice that brought me into a state of deep awareness of this disease and what it meant to me. Alandi says that the breast is all about nurturing and mothering. The way she described how the disease manifests emotionally was right on for me. In summary, those who do not experience nurturing from their mother, can spend their entire life seeking that love. In my case, this led to over work to get approval from teachers, coaches, employers, my partners, my community and my children. I recognized, in that moment, how much energy I have expended on this and it is no wonder my liver is not functioning in a healthy manner.

Each time I do the breast massage, I tell myself all the loving things that I did not hear from my mother. “You are beautiful…you are talented…you can do whatever you want in life and you will have all the resources you need…you will be provided for.” This daily mantra was powerful and profound.

As my healing journey proceeded, it soon hit me that I could die of this disease and that, for my son, I need to do my best to recover. As his nurturing mother, I do not desire that he live with the legacy of a mother who died young, before he was a grown man. I chose to survive for him. Aside from my perceived obligations as a mother, I feel quite fulfilled and complete with my life.

Because of my existing condition, fibromyalgia, I am already investing a great deal of money and energy into my ongoing health care. Increased self care and medical expenses required a great deal of adjustment and led to withdrawal and irritability. Another important step along this healing journey was to deeply surrender to dying, regardless of my perceived obligations to my son’s emotional well being. This surrender allowed me the space to die, if that was meant to be and to back off the intense self care. Ultimately, this surrender led to more joy in the moment and less irritability around stepping up self care and increased medical treatments and expenses.

Karmic Gifts

When I finally went to the Breast Disease Specialist, she could not find the lump during the breast exam. She baulked at my natural healing methods and said things that led me to believe she thought I was imaging the lump. Both my husband, close friend and Environmental Illness Specialist can attest to the fact that the breast lump did in fact exist and that it was the size of a marble 6 weeks prior. After the exam, I went into the bathroom to double check. All I felt was a thick line of hard tissue where the lump was located. I reduced it with the above mentioned natural methods and a few day long retreats to our local yoga and retreat center. Since then, the size fluctuates depending on stress and diet, but remains smaller than when first discovered.

My experience with breast dis-ease invited me to step into deep self care and nonattachment. I have adjusted to the increased self care and now experience overall improved health and almost constant bliss. I will continue to monitor the lump with a mammogram this summer and by maintaining this high level of self care and natural treatments. It feels so good and so right to finally be loving myself the way I was born to be loved. I am grateful for all the lessons and all the abundance. Namaste. Jai Ma!

"Gather courage--courage to drop the ego, courage to drop the securities, courage to drop the safeties, courage to be vulnerable." -Ohso...on "Love"

"...whatsoever you do, may it be a blessing to you and to the world in which you live." Osho

The Gifts found within Living with a Hidden Handicap
by Prana (Regina Barrett)

In the mid nineties, without warning, I received a year long chemical exposure in my new home, that left me with multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. After this diagnosis, in order to recover, I had to shift my lifestyle from identifying heavily with my work to a place of healing and self acceptance. This required deep surrender to a life with a hidden handicap.

Our move to Boulder, Colorado 3 years ago turned out to be very advantageous to my health. The warmer temperatures, decrease in allergens and opportunity to recreate my life, facilitated my healing process. Our holistic realtor/astrologer, Ginny Ross, a very enlightened crone, told us, “People come to Boulder to heal or to be healers.” At the time, we weren’t sure what our path would be. In my case, it turned out to be a little of both. I learned a lot in my time out west about self care, surrender, meditation and refining my work as a holistic health practitioner. Now, I’ve moved back to the Pioneer Valley to be closer to our teenage children and to share what I’ve learned.

In the beginning of my journey of working with my condition, I felt like I would not be accepted by my community as an able person with a disability. Consequently, I would stay at home until I was well enough to emerge. Being the social creature I am, and one who markets her work through creating relationships, I learned to mask my illness as best I could with make up, a healthy appearance and a cheerful disposition. Recovery from this illness requires excellent self care, so looking fit and healthy in the moment is not uncommon. However, just a drop of stress and the body crashes. When this happened to me, I would withdraw, afraid of judgment for not being healthy enough. It was a self judgment I needed to overcome.

The emotional work I have been doing over the past few years, allowed me to move to a place of self acceptance and gratitude and to be able to see the lessons and gifts of this illness. People with my condition are very sensitive, so my abilities as a holistic health practitioner have expanded. I naturally sense energy and have recently been initiated into the medical intuitive field. This increase in clairvoyance and ability to assists other in their healing came as a result of the illness caused by the stress of the move. While in a chronic state of pain and discomfort, I was guided to heal myself. In a meditation, provided by my teacher, Sylvia Brallier, I was given the tools to do so. This has been a profound gift of the illness that I can now use for my personal healing and to assist my community. So far, this has been the greatest gift and one for which I am eternally grateful.

When under stress or allergens, people who suffer from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and multiple chemical sensitivities are highly susceptible to whatever flu or virus is in the air. In addition, they can experience symptoms such as chronic insomnia, brain exhaustion, yeast infections, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, swollen lymph glands, kidney pain and other ailments such as sores, fevers and rashes. Joint pain and weakness, muscle aches and pains can also be part of daily life. Cancer and organ failure are potential by products of these conditions. These symptoms make excellent self care all the more important.

My spiritual practice and devotion to self care allow me to function within society on a part time basis…enough to have a few significant relationships and to work part time. The ability to function and contribute to society can only happen with a great deal of outside support. I arrange for help with most household tasks and work with business partners. Although it is emotionally satisfying to be out in the world, working only part time and sharing revenue with business partners can make it difficult to achieve an adequate income for the support required. Acquiring medical and home support from Social Security or other sources is often a necessity for people who find it difficult to work full time. With adequate support people with hidden handicaps like myself can live manageable lives.

Discovering ways to continue to work within a field that is intrinsically nurturing and supportive, has been one of the many blessings of this illness. After a serious ankle injury in my first day of a month long yoga training in Costa Rica; rather than return home and do the training next year, I chose to do the entire training modified for my injury. By the end of this journey (four months living with a disability in a developing country), I was gifted with the ability to be a therapeutic yoga practitioner and now specialize in working with individuals recovering from injuries and illness.

Restorative yoga is an excellent practice for those living with chronic stress and illness. Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (PRYT) can also be a wonderful way to move through emotional blockages in the body that tend to slow the healing process. In this modality, practitioners provide a therapeutic stretch that can be very healing when you feel too weak to do yoga on your own. Receiving yoga in a PRYT session, increases the healing effect of many restorative yoga poses and it feels so good to be supported on so many levels…mind, body and spirit. A therapeutic and restorative approach to yoga, allows those with disabilities, illness and injuries to still reap the many healing benefits of yoga, on the path to health.

To learn more about living with a hidden handicap and how to manage chronic illness through lifestyle changes, visit http://www.pranaheals.com She can also be reached at 1-888-253-2114. Prana specializes in therapeutic yoga and yoga lifestyle counseling. She also works with a network of holistic health practitioners who can assist you on your holistic healing journey. Prana offers classes and private sessions in Northampton, Conway and Shelburne Falls.

Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Receive Yoga Bodywork. Feel supported both physically and emotionally. For more details see press release below.

Set Yourself Free! with Prana

Quarterly Newsletter Fall 2005

*Personal Check in

*Personal Practice Suggestion, Reflection and Connection with Self

*Upcoming Classes, Workshops and Retreats

*Invitation for stories

This summer has brought me to a place in my personal yoga journey of deepest surrender and letting go. My birthday is July 28th. My 40th passed last year almost unnoticed. Coming off a transformational winter and spring living in Costa Rica, I was given some challenging lesson to overcome and was able to handle what came my way. I remember saying to myself, during those challenging times, “Mother (who I call “God”) only gives you what you can handle.” and knew I would survive and come through a better person and I did.

My 41st brought new and exponentially more difficult challenges that required a deeper letting go and surrender. As a healer, I began to peel back my own layers using the tools I have been given by my many teachers and with the clearer sight, developed through daily meditation. The illusions in my life began to reveal themselves right before my eyes.

Some of my strongest lessons have included,

*letting go of time and truly trusting the timeless state of being

*letting go of how I want it to be and allowing my destiny to unfold

*loving, even when it hurts

*seeing my old patterns and responses when those I love desire different paths than my own

I have coached and counseled “midlifers” for years now and am now having my own set of personal heart felt emotions that mid life brings forth. Coping with aging, clarity around my path and not wanting to go around the old merry go round ONE… MORE… TIME, discernment, ease, grace and the deepening of wisdom from experience. Patience.

I have had teachers (earth angels) come into my life to give me courage and strength.

I have meditated daily to come into my center and find clarity.

I have sought counsel when my tools weren’t enough.

I have reached out to family and friends for support.

I have learned to pace myself, so that I have energy for myself and others.

I have taken steps to improve my health, deepen my connections with others and expand my services to my community.

I feel richer, wiser and lighter. I feel new beginnings unfolding.

Most of all, I feel able to love more because I have loved myself deeply.

Reflection:

As you look back on your summer, a time of connecting with family, parties, more time outdoors in nature having fun…what lessons were shown to you.? Who were your earth angels that gave you messages that made you perk up and pay attention or question what you were doing? What were they trying to show you? How did you respond to these lessons?

Connection:

Come back to your center. Refresh your altar, your sacred space. Be sure it represents your newest path. Remove items that symbolize outdated intentions. Refresh your incense and candles. Put some energy into your sacred space to refresh your personal practice.

Personal Practice Suggestions:

Alternating heart opening postures like yoga mudras and back bends with postures that draw your awareness inward (e.g., embryo, child’s pose and forward bends), alternate nostril breathing, and extended meditations are all ways to ground the summer’s activity and come back to your center. Savasana and three part breathing are excellent for bringing the energy down (grounding).

Upcoming Events:

We are relocating to Conway, MA in late November 2005 to be closer to our children

Opening to the Love 2006 Costa Rica Yoga Lifestyle Retreat

Visit

Visit my yoga instruction web page for fall classes in Boulder, CO at

Stay tuned for upcoming winter classes and workshops in western MA

www.pranaheals.com is being redesigned with a new look and updated photos!

A DVD is starting to surface...it will be a restorative practice, including an assessable yoga flow and meditation.

Sangah Community Participation:
I am doing research for a book, which will enlighten readers and seekers on how to find our way back to community. I would love to hear your personal stories of finding your “tribe“. Please tell me the qualities you seek in community, how you reach out to create community and what you think it takes to maintain community overtime. Send your comments, questions and stories to info@pranaheals.com or chat with each other on www.pranaheals.blogspot.com Your contributions are greatly appreciated. We will contact you if we choose to include your story in our book. If we use your contribution, you will receive a free copy of the book.

Much love, blessings and gratitude,

Namaste. Jai Ma!

Prana and Rene