The Gifts found within Living with a Hidden Handicap
by Prana (Regina Barrett)

In the mid nineties, without warning, I received a year long chemical exposure in my new home, that left me with multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. After this diagnosis, in order to recover, I had to shift my lifestyle from identifying heavily with my work to a place of healing and self acceptance. This required deep surrender to a life with a hidden handicap.

Our move to Boulder, Colorado 3 years ago turned out to be very advantageous to my health. The warmer temperatures, decrease in allergens and opportunity to recreate my life, facilitated my healing process. Our holistic realtor/astrologer, Ginny Ross, a very enlightened crone, told us, “People come to Boulder to heal or to be healers.” At the time, we weren’t sure what our path would be. In my case, it turned out to be a little of both. I learned a lot in my time out west about self care, surrender, meditation and refining my work as a holistic health practitioner. Now, I’ve moved back to the Pioneer Valley to be closer to our teenage children and to share what I’ve learned.

In the beginning of my journey of working with my condition, I felt like I would not be accepted by my community as an able person with a disability. Consequently, I would stay at home until I was well enough to emerge. Being the social creature I am, and one who markets her work through creating relationships, I learned to mask my illness as best I could with make up, a healthy appearance and a cheerful disposition. Recovery from this illness requires excellent self care, so looking fit and healthy in the moment is not uncommon. However, just a drop of stress and the body crashes. When this happened to me, I would withdraw, afraid of judgment for not being healthy enough. It was a self judgment I needed to overcome.

The emotional work I have been doing over the past few years, allowed me to move to a place of self acceptance and gratitude and to be able to see the lessons and gifts of this illness. People with my condition are very sensitive, so my abilities as a holistic health practitioner have expanded. I naturally sense energy and have recently been initiated into the medical intuitive field. This increase in clairvoyance and ability to assists other in their healing came as a result of the illness caused by the stress of the move. While in a chronic state of pain and discomfort, I was guided to heal myself. In a meditation, provided by my teacher, Sylvia Brallier, I was given the tools to do so. This has been a profound gift of the illness that I can now use for my personal healing and to assist my community. So far, this has been the greatest gift and one for which I am eternally grateful.

When under stress or allergens, people who suffer from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and multiple chemical sensitivities are highly susceptible to whatever flu or virus is in the air. In addition, they can experience symptoms such as chronic insomnia, brain exhaustion, yeast infections, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, swollen lymph glands, kidney pain and other ailments such as sores, fevers and rashes. Joint pain and weakness, muscle aches and pains can also be part of daily life. Cancer and organ failure are potential by products of these conditions. These symptoms make excellent self care all the more important.

My spiritual practice and devotion to self care allow me to function within society on a part time basis…enough to have a few significant relationships and to work part time. The ability to function and contribute to society can only happen with a great deal of outside support. I arrange for help with most household tasks and work with business partners. Although it is emotionally satisfying to be out in the world, working only part time and sharing revenue with business partners can make it difficult to achieve an adequate income for the support required. Acquiring medical and home support from Social Security or other sources is often a necessity for people who find it difficult to work full time. With adequate support people with hidden handicaps like myself can live manageable lives.

Discovering ways to continue to work within a field that is intrinsically nurturing and supportive, has been one of the many blessings of this illness. After a serious ankle injury in my first day of a month long yoga training in Costa Rica; rather than return home and do the training next year, I chose to do the entire training modified for my injury. By the end of this journey (four months living with a disability in a developing country), I was gifted with the ability to be a therapeutic yoga practitioner and now specialize in working with individuals recovering from injuries and illness.

Restorative yoga is an excellent practice for those living with chronic stress and illness. Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (PRYT) can also be a wonderful way to move through emotional blockages in the body that tend to slow the healing process. In this modality, practitioners provide a therapeutic stretch that can be very healing when you feel too weak to do yoga on your own. Receiving yoga in a PRYT session, increases the healing effect of many restorative yoga poses and it feels so good to be supported on so many levels…mind, body and spirit. A therapeutic and restorative approach to yoga, allows those with disabilities, illness and injuries to still reap the many healing benefits of yoga, on the path to health.

To learn more about living with a hidden handicap and how to manage chronic illness through lifestyle changes, visit http://www.pranaheals.com She can also be reached at 1-888-253-2114. Prana specializes in therapeutic yoga and yoga lifestyle counseling. She also works with a network of holistic health practitioners who can assist you on your holistic healing journey. Prana offers classes and private sessions in Northampton, Conway and Shelburne Falls.